There Will Be Blog

Ugh. So…full…of…independence….

Clearly, the Fourth of July may need to become one of my “gorging holidays,” which are special days during which all of my normal dietary rules go out the window (no sugar, not too much dairy, whole wheat everything, cautious portions). Given that I’ve consumed enough food to qualify as a small grocery store, I feel that I’ll open the floodgates for this particular holiday and place it alongside Thanksgiving and Christmas on my list (sometimes my birthday counts, but since I’m usually self-critical enough on that day, I try not to add “bloated” to my list of faults).

My mom’s party seems to be going well…it’s still going on and seemingly will for a few more hours. However, my mom’s new boyfriend apparently feels comfortable enough with me already to ask that I carry plates of food around to the guests, like a waiter. I’m not sure how I feel about this…on the one hand, I want to be helpful and pull my weight as a member of the party-throwing committee. But on the other hand, really? I’m just here to help set up and help clean up, as well as participate in all the small talk and introductions in between. I didn’t sign on to carry trays of food around. I don’t know…it didn’t bother me the first time, but around the third time that he asked me to carry food, I became a bit resentful. Whatever, it’s hardly a deal-breaker and it was really not a big task, but…blah. Overall, though, the guy is nice and he’s good to my mom…that’s not a small thing.

Oh, and as a side note, it’s really a painful process to listen to guys talk to girls when the guy is clearly trying to get into her pants. I’m not talking about pick-up lines or blatant come-ons, but more the actual conversation in which they both participate when the girl is clearly interested in actually chatting about feelings and nonsense and the guy is clearly being personable and friendly until he can get her to agree to touch his penis. I was reminded of this painful banter on Thursday at work, when my (attractive) co-worker Gia was talking with some new guy in front of my desk (Gia sits across from me). Their conversation went something like this:

GIA: It’s really important to have friends in life, because they can really be there for you when you’re down. You know?
GUY WHO WANTS TO GET LAID: Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, my friends, they’re so great. Friends are so important.
GIA: Yeah. I was having a really hard time earlier this week because my mom (blah blah blah…ten minutes later) and then we stopped crying.
GWWTGL: Well, yeah, moms are tough sometimes. It’s like, they’re there for you and then they’re not…I mean, you gotta have moms.
GIA: You’re so right. You get it.
GWWTGL: I do. Touch it.

Okay, the last part didn’t happen, but that would have been the extent of the conversation if he had been honest. And believe me, I’ve been in plenty of meandering conversations with girls wherein I’m trying desperately to segue into a conversation about penis-touching but they’re just interested in talking about life and problems and stuff. The whole conversation just has a certain sound to it when that sort of exchange is taking place…it’s very clear. And I just wanted the above conversation between Gia and that guy to end, as they were standing near my desk when I was trying to eat a sandwich, and I don’t like having people near me when I’m eating…but that’s a whole other story.

Huh…I’m currently sitting in the bedroom in which I’m staying here at my mom’s house, and I thought I heard all the party noises dying down. Thinking that the party was over, I emerged, only to find that everyone had just moved outside by the pool. Given that I have a place to hide, my laptop at hand, and a so-far good book (Love In The Time of Cholera), I guess I’m not desperate for the party to end, but I do look forward to sleep tonight. Like I said in my last post, it’s a shame that this weekend is so hectic, between flying, partying, lifting, moving and driving, but it’s not the end of the world.

Is this a good time to talk about Alexandra? I guess it is…but there’s really nothing beyond what I’ve already said: I think the end is near. The question is: the end of what? How do you break up with someone when you’re not even dating them? Do I say, “We can’t talk on the phone anymore?” This totally blows my original plan of “let’s be friends” out of the water….how do I say “let’s be friends” and then emphasize that we shouldn’t talk on the phone anymore? I guess my current plan is to wait until she brings up that inevitable question: “So…are we dating?” It seems like a standard question, but it hasn’t actually come up. I mean, we’ve only seen each other on two occasions, so it doesn’t seem like we are dating, but we do talk on the phone often and we have fooled around, so…? Of course, if that question finally does come up (and she would have to be the one to do it…it wouldn’t make sense for me to say, “Hey, are we dating? We are? In that case, I have something to tell you…”), I’ll have to grow some balls and take that opportunity to say no. What a quagmire…I thought I wasn’t making the same mistake that I did with Krystal (wherein she asked if we should stay together when I moved to Los Angeles and I said yes…I should have said no and endured the minimal pain there and then). And yet, even though I didn’t make the same mistake, it had the same result, except now, we’re not even dating, so it’s harder to break up…it’s like catching a ray of light: you can see it, but it’s not really physically there.

But speaking of girls, I had a semi-ridiculous situation happen early this morning. To make a long explanation short, my mom is renting this current house from her former boss (now friend) as the boss works in Vancouver and didn’t want to give up his house altogether. However, he still comes down to visit every now and again, and as he loves a good party, he’s here this weekend. I’m sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms that’s designated as “mine” while I’m here and he sleeps in the other guest bedroom (my mom has the master bedroom). Anyway, so he wasn’t here when we went to sleep last night, but he apparently got in around 4:30 in the morning with two drunk ladies. These two ladies proceeded to open the door to my bedroom, waking me up, while one of them came to the bed, shook my foot, and said in a loud, fake Australian accent, “Oi, ‘ow’d you get in here!?” I was so extremely confused (as I had just woken from a deep sleep) that I just stared without answering. I can’t quite remember what happened after that, but they went away and I went back to sleep. In the morning, they were sprawled out on two different couches (one of which was my couch that I’m taking back to Los Angeles). We were gradually introduced…they seem nice.

I don’t really have much more to say at the moment…I could go on some more about Alexandra, but I’ll spare everyone from the remainder of that discussion. It’s getting dark…fireworks should be starting soon (I don’t know where they’ll be, but I assume I’ll at least hear them). Maybe everyone will take that as their cue to leave so that I can go to sleep. I’m so much fun at parties…speaking of which, I’m thinking about having a housewarming party, but I’d need to have at least two separate ones due to my aversion to worlds colliding. So I could have one for my work friends, one for my G4 friends, and one for…everyone else (the Belgian girl? She would be a work friend, but she doesn’t work with us anymore and I don’t know how familiar she would be with anyone outside of Jamie). Maybe I’ll actually do that…because one party with everyone there doesn’t make any sense at all.

Yet another airport…yet another trip. I really shouldn’t be complaining about traveling…and yet, after at least twenty years of flying the friendly skies (having divorced parents who live in separate states will rack up the Frequent Flier miles), I will easily admit a growing distaste for the whole process. I could point my finger at post-September 11th measures, but that’s merely a runny nose in the overall flu that is air travel. I think, if anything, it’s the fact that I now have to travel cross-country to see most relatives and friends that has been the biggest pox upon my patience…flying cross-country exacerbates all of the issues I have with air travel: it’s far more expensive than flying north/south, it necessitates an entire day of travel to get back east, the flight durations are on the wrong side of tolerable, etc. Add those factors to the increased security issues (removing shoes and belts, removing laptops and portable DVD players, the whole “travel size” toiletry issue, longer wait times, etc.) plus the overall feeling of being treated like cattle and you have a recipe for irritation.

Still, I shouldn’t be griping as much this time…my flight today is a hop, skip and/or jump from Los Angeles to San Francisco (a punishing one hour in the air…how will I stand it?) and I’m not even flying back home at the conclusion of my trip. In actuality, I’m going up north this holiday weekend for two reasons: 1) to see my mom, and 2) to rent a truck and drive down a pull-out couch and dining room table for my apartment. Really, compared to the five hour drive from northern California back down to Los Angeles, today’s flight is a walk in the park (knock on wood). I actually used to drive back and forth to see my mom for the first couple of years here in California, but eventually, we realized that flying is actually infinitely easier in this particular scenario.

But overall, I’m still hesitant about this whole weekend. For one thing, I wasn’t too keen on flying up north this weekend in the first place, as this is the first full weekend during which I will be comfortably settled into my new apartment. I had been hoping to celebrate Independence Day by reveling in my independence from the Valley and perhaps taking a walk to the beach to enjoy fireworks and whatnot. Ultimately, though, this was the only weekend that worked for me and my mom, schedule-wise…my mom has become surprisingly busy over the last few months due to her…ahem…new boyfriend. The guy seemingly can’t sit still for a single weekend, so he and my mom have been jetting all over the place, leaving me to attempt to steal a weekend with my mother where I can (that sounded bitter…my feelings about this overall issue are still unclear). Plus, this weekend seemed to work for the furniture acquisition…I’ve completely unpacked my apartment, only to find that it screams out for furniture.

But my initial hesitance about traveling this weekend aside,  I’m also just anxious about the furniture issue overall. While I was ecstatic to complete the actual move last week, it’s turned out that getting these few pieces of furniture is requiring more coordination and financial investment than the apartment-to-apartment move itself. So there are truck rental issues, coordinating with the two or three locations where the furniture is currently housed, concern about driving from northern California to Los Angeles in a rickety rent-a-truck (there’s a large mountainous incline on this route…it taxes my car when I drive it, so I’m hesitant about ascending in a truck filled with furniture), money issues (truck rental + gas + movers), loading/unloading worries (I’ve literally had to hire movers to get the furniture from the truck to my apartment…a distance of about fifty feet that will cost me a ridiculously disproportionate amount of money)…blah. But I know that this furniture will be worth it….

The furniture issues and travel woes aside, though, I’m at least looking forward to seeing my mom…except that she’s in the midst of planning a giant Fourth of July party at her place for tomorrow, so she’s not terribly relaxed herself. My mom and I are more alike than we sometimes like to admit, so when there’s somewhat of a “perfect storm” of issues (my moving issues, her party issues), it can get…not “ugly,” but perhaps “snippy.” Still, it will be good to see her and spend some time away from Los Angeles (and in a non-work-related capacity).

It’s kind of sad that I only discovered the Burbank Airport as an option about a month or two before I moved out of the Valley…my new closest airport is, sadly, LAX, which is where I am now. True, with my newfound proximity, I no longer have to deal with the extra half hour or forty five minutes of time I used to need to simply get to the airport and park at the satellite parking lot (I don’t need to park at all…taxis are my new best friend), but it doesn’t make dealing with this airport any easier…it’s still a clusterfuck. Oh well.

On the bright side (as I know this post has been mostly complaining and worries up until now), I frankly don’t think I would have had enough activities to make staying in Los Angeles this weekend worth it. My friends Jim and Jennie are out of town all weekend, and while it would have been nice to explore my new area, go to the beach, nap, etc., I still think that I would have been bored by Saturday morning. Of course, one of the key directives for living in my new apartment is to get out of it as much as possible, in some respects…in other words, now that I live near civilization, I need to go to bars, clubs, social areas, etc. on the weekends. Like I’ve said before, my July is pretty hectic, but I hope to start “getting out there” as soon as I can.

To what end am I getting “out there”? Um…good question, seeing as how I have a “girl friend” (not a girlfriend), and despite my complicated and conflicted feelings about her, I’m not about to go behind her back in such a manner. Hm…this will clearly require some further thought on my part. Until then, my laptop battery is rapidly dying and my plane just arrived at the gate…seems like a good time to sign off.

So...Hancock.

It would have much more interesting to have written about this a month or so ago when I was supposed to see that executive screening of the movie...now, I'm just another voice lost amidst the cacophony of reviews and opinions. However, the one interesting thing about discussing Hancock at this point, unlike a movie like Wall-E, is that the reactions to the film are so diverse that it's not the written equivalent of spitting into an ocean. With Wall-E, it was unanimously loved, so all I did with my discussion was to basically nod and say "Yeah, totally!"

But with Hancock, it's tricky...it would be polite to say that it's getting mixed reviews, everything from "original and awesome" to "fun" to "a godforsaken mess." And indeed, while I want to rest somewhere between "original" and "fun," I'm unfortunately leaning more towards "mess." In fact, as I was watching the movie, "mess" was really the primary word that came to mind to describe what I was seeing. A mess could start as a well-intentioned, interesting idea, sort of like some ten year old kids making their mom a cake for her birthday. They could use the best ingredients, the right recipe, the remodeled modern kitchen that their father's child support checks paid for...but at the end of the day, these ten year olds don't know how to make a cake or use the kitchen and they end up coating the walls in batter and dropping all the eggs on the floor. And sure, the batter probably tastes good, but you have to lick it off the walls. And yeah, the kids probably had fun making this mess (and it shows), but it's still a mess and their cake just doesn't work as a food item.

That's Hancock in a nutshell (no, this is Hancock in a nutshell: "Why am I in a nutshell? You want a cookie in this nutshell? Your head is going up his ass...in a nutshell"...sorry). Yes, there are some fun moments, funny lines and a bit of decent action, but at the end of the day, it's a compromised, sloppy, unfocused mess of a movie. Some reviewers have been comparing it to Last Action Hero, our studio's infamous 1993 box office bomb, primarily because  both films try to dissect their respective genres and turn them on their heads while still using the cliches to entertain in a meta sort of way (both films also came from highly respected scripts that made the rounds of Hollywood before finally going before the cameras). But that's not really a fair comparison: for all of its flaws and despite its unwarranted reputation, Last Action Hero wasn't ridiculously compromised and shoehorned into being something it plainly was not. For better or worse, Last Action Hero was what it was and didn't make too many apologies about it. Hancock, on the other hand, was clearly butchered between the wrap of shooting and its theatrical release.

One of my big complaints about Hancock was that the first section of the film is rushed. It's clear from all the test screening reviews and the pace/content of the finished product that a great deal was cut from the first part of the movie, which is the part that establishes Hancock as a complete and utter dickbag. This was the part that had the roof-puncturing semen, that had the statutory rape, that had any and all "F" bombs...this was the R section of the film, and clearly, this section has been scrubbed mostly clean. Hancock's actions are now kind of silly instead of dangerous or truly despondent. While I wasn't a huge fan of the "semen scene," I did find that the lack of any actual edge to Hancock's character disappointing and distracting. So really, the first act of the film is truncated and provides a rough entry into the film and the concept.

The second act, however, picks up. From the time Hancock decides to work with Jason Bateman's PR character until Hancock tucks drunken Jason Bateman into bed, the movie works. It's original, it's funny, it holds one's attention...it's only too bad that the film then reveals its ridiculously telegraphed plot twist (seriously, Peter Berg and editing team: could you not resist including even one of the many, many shots wherein Charlize Theron is clearly holding back some sort of secret?). From the point that said reveal is...well, revealed, the movie goes downhill, and fast. Suddenly, Charlize Theron's character is wearing dark eye makeup and black clothes to indicate that her secret is revealed? The main villains of the piece are actually three random characters that mean nothing to us and present no actual threat? Why did Charlize's character even bother revealing her secret? Why do Hancock and Charlize's character have a physical fight exactly? And most importantly: why did the production shut down Hollywood Boulevard for, like, two whole weeks to shoot a scene that a) lasted about three minutes and b) didn't have to take place on Hollywood Boulevard at all?

Look, Hancock isn't a bad movie...at least it has a vaguely original concept and...well...at least it doesn't wear out its welcome (92 minutes...damn). Would I recommend seeing it? Hm...on the one hand, I would recommend seeing it, because papa needs a new pair of shoes. But on the other hand, I can't say that it's really worth seeing...for all of its positive and negative qualities, I've still forgotten most of it merely three hours after leaving the theater. Best solution: buy it on Blu-ray, thereby directly benefiting my department...plus, I see that we're doing an Unrated cut for it, so perhaps that will restore some much-needed raunch to the proceedings (I tried looking to see how long that cut will be, but that information isn't yet available). I could go on about the various issues I had with the film, but really, it's just a rushed, shaggy dog mess...that's all. But hey, at least I saw it for free...and better yet, they let us know that we'll be getting employee screenings for both Step Brothers and Pineapple Express, our remaining two summer movies (unless you count The House Bunny...which I don't).

However, I will make note that I was impressed by the overall advertising campaign for Hancock. Okay, maybe a big closeup of Will Smith's unshaven, somewhat covered face wouldn't be my first choice for a poster, but I give a big thumbs up to Theatrical Marketing for giving away so little of the plot prior to the release. Granted, there's not much to give (nor was there a big villain to reveal), but it's unique in this day and age for a trailer to only showcase scenes from the first forty or fifty minutes of a movie. Yes, there are a few shots from the third act that sneaked their way into the trailer, but overall, it's surprisingly and pleasantly vague...whether or not that will ultimately benefit this movie remains to be seen, but it's a far better way to approach a trailer than the "hey, let's throw in everything!" approach that ruins many movies.

Oh, one last thing about Hancock: the score for the first forty five minutes or so is terrible. Normally, I wouldn't harp on a score, but during Jason Bateman's introductory scene as he pitches his concept to a bunch of executives, the music is so light comedy-esque that it's nauseating. I thought I was watching an outtake from Liar Liar or Bruce Almighty or something. I don't know about Peter Berg as a director (speaking of choices he made for the film)...I outright hate one of his films (Very Bad Things), surprisingly didn't hate another (The Rundown), absolutely loved another (Friday Night Lights) and felt extremely conflicted about another (The Kingdom). Now with this "meh" for Hancock, I can't say that I really have a solid opinion of his directing skills...I guess the best thing I could say is that the directing wasn't the cause of the film's major problems. So...good work, Peter Berg?

Anyway, like I've said, the rest of July looks fun, movie-wise, what with Hellboy II, X-Files 2 and, of course, The Dark Knight. Unfortunately, it just occurred to me that I'll be at Comic-Con the day Step Brothers opens, which means I won't get to go to our employee screening...dammit! But on the bright side, it turns out my friend Chris will also be at Comic-Con this year for work, thus allowing for a Comic-Con 2007 Part 2 scenario (he was there last year, too). Hooray! That also means that I won't have to go see X-Files 2 by myself, which is good...plus, Chris knows all the ins and outs of the show, so I can turn to him during the movie to loudly stage whisper such questions as: "Wait...who's that guy?," "What happened to all those bees from the last movie?," and "What exactly are they hoping to believe?" What fun for both of us. (And did I ever clarify my Comic-Con situation? Turns out that, yes, I'm going, and yes, I have a hotel room...my private snit-fit yielded fruit after all.)

Speaking of trips, I'm also trying desperately to maneuver my way into my boss's upcoming trip to New York. Blanky-blank Electronics, the electronics division of our company (yes, "Blanky-blank" is in place of my actual company's name...even though a chimp with half a head could figure out where I work by now, I still don't feel right just blurting it out), is having a "Christmas in July" event in New York during the week of July 14th wherein they will demo some of their new products for the press (and we'll show off how their stuff relates to our 4th Quarter titles). Seeing as how I am currently without a planned upcoming trip to New York (Labor Day? Thanksgiving? New Year's? Random week during September?), I am currently scrambling to get invited along for this trip. It's not without justification or precedent, though: my boss will be doing yet another BD-Live demo, and like with our recent trip to Las Vegas, it's wise to have me around to do the setup and troubleshooting. My boss apparently agrees, but he has to get clearance from his boss for me to go...I've sweetened the pot by saying that I won't even need a hotel room, but can stay with friends instead (yay for assumptions!). Not that I would mind a hotel room.... Anyway, with the upcoming holiday, not much is happening this week, planning-wise, so I guess I'll find out for sure next week.

I know that my blog posts have turned into sort-of State of the Union addresses for the last...six months? Throughout the entirety of its existence? However long it's been, I do sometimes lament the fact that I don't use my posts to discuss issues beyond my personal problems and/or movie reviews. I recognize that I should branch out a bit and maybe try talking about other topics, but I can't guarantee a rapid change. Still, I appreciate those who have had patience with me and are continuing to read (I think it's more than two at this point, judging by the comments, but not by much...and they may not be constant readers). I hope to post again before the holiday weekend, but if not, I hope everyone has a great Fourth of July (American or otherwise).

I'm unsure as to why I'm so bummed today...could it be a simple case of Monday-itis, curable by surviving until Tuesday? I don't think it's just that (though it's likely a factor). By all accounts, I should be happy today (or happier than usual, at least): today was the first day of driving to work from my new apartment, and it took me less than 10 minutes from door to door...after a few months of swirling rumors, it was announced today that the new restorations of The Godfather Trilogy will be coming to Blu-ray this September...my boss is out of town this week, leaving me to my own devices and tasks...thanks to the upcoming holiday, it's a four-day week, complete with the added bonuses of a 3 PM closing on Thursday and an employee screening of Hancock on Wednesday morning...my friend Cassie is in town and we're having lunch and evening drinks tomorrow...the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and it's a great day to be alive. So why am I so down?

Despite the fact that I got here at 8:30 this morning (as opposed to my usual arrival time of 7:30) and will likely leave around 5:45 tonight, there's still the little matter of the eight or nine hours of work that I have to slog through today...that might be one of the weights that's dragging my mood downwards. I took Friday off to move last week, so I arrived this morning to find a cavalcade of e-mails and requests in my inbox...however, this was good and bad, as it provided me with work and boredom relief, but also served to be irritating and increasingly annoying. Still, overall, I've whittled my workload down to but a few remaining issues, and now I find myself restless and ready for a nap.

Branching out from my usual work issues into...well, another familiar arena, I'm having "girl troubles" (which, sadly, doesn't mean I'm having my period). I haven't spoken about Alexandra or Jamie lately, both because I'm uncertain about those respective scenarios and because I've been trying to minimize my girl-related whining. But I'll dip my toe into that pool ever so briefly to say that, frankly, things aren't looking good. The bottom line is that, while Alexandra and I have had fun in person and that person-to-person relationship has yielded a certain degree of promise, that's simply not the reality of the situation. The reality is that she's going to be going to school in Miami for at least another year, which only leaves room for phone conversations and the occasional fleeting visit...and really, that's not enough. Of course, if I truly felt that she was "the one" (or "a one," so to speak), maybe I'd hold on and make it work...but she's not. She's a decent person and I don't want to hurt her, but staying with her will only serve to do just that in the long run. It's an unpleasant situation and an unpleasant reality, but it's time to face it...which doesn't mean that I'm going to do anything about it today or this week (yeah, July's not looking good, either...), but at some point, I know I'm going to have to have an awful, awkward, unpleasant conversation about this with her...and that fact is absolutely weighing on my mind.

And as for Jamie, well, there's nothing new there...it's just the same unpleasant yearning I feel for her that's reciprocated by unwavering friendship. I haven't expressed my continued feelings to her since CES in January, both out of respect for Alexandra (tenuous at best, really) and because I don't feel like being rejected for the fourth or fifth time. But to clarify: Jamie herself is not a factor in my decision about Alexandra, but the fact that I feel such overwhelming passion for someone and don't feel that for Alexandra is a factor. You know?

And on top of all of that, there are some personal family issues going on that are starting to stir the emotional cauldron...I apologize for dangling that without any explanation, but while I'll readily acknowledge that as a factor of my downtrodden emotional landscape, I can't in good conscience explain the details. It's nothing life or death (thankfully...knock on wood), but it's like a pebble in the shoe of my mind that's currently small but noticeable...hopefully it doesn't grow from there.

And outside of all of that, there are my professional issues. As I hinted yesterday, for a person my age, a corporate existence is seductive and comfortable: after being a poor student, it's nice to make actual money and go on work trips and meet high-powered people and all of that...and it's even more seductive when it's all in service of a goal or product that is actually of great interest (read: Blu-ray). I had a pseudo-annual review last Thursday ("pseudo" because we didn't have the actual paperwork to make it all official, but we talked it through instead) wherein my boss talked to me about my "next step." He outlined a nearby future wherein I would become essentially his true right-hand man, wherein my direction and declarations would be as heeded as his own...I would be moving up in the ranks, on my way to corporate glory. I'm making it all sound far more ominous than it was intended...we basically talked about my future with the company.

But quite honestly, while I was flattered by the power and intrigued by the promise of future dollar signs, the conversation scared me a bit, too. I mean, okay, it's not like he was talking about bumping me from Coordinator to CEO or anything, but I suddenly started to see how comfortable and easy it would be to stay here, ride out the bumps, and rise to a comfortable salary and an important title (well, not "easy"...promotion jockeying within a company is shockingly cutthroat at times). But the bottom line is, that's not what I want. I want to direct movies, I want to raise money for my current screenplay and direct the hell out of it. I want to live in a world where I can go to a local theater and see my work shine on an enormous screen and entertain millions of people. That's what I want, and it scares the hell out of me to think that I would get to a point where I would just say, "Fuck it, it's too hard to make movies, let me just see how far I can rise in this corporation." It's seductive, though...and so ever since Thursday and, in a way, ever since I moved into my amazing new apartment (paid for by my "day job"), these thoughts have been bouncing around in my mind at an ever-increasing rate of speed.

And speaking of my apartment--which, again, I do love and adore, despite my analytical quandaries--it's actually a relatively large space, certainly compared to my Van Nuys apartment. And even though I've only lived in my new place for two full days now, I've already started to feel...lonely. I mean, once I get my furniture from up north, I'll have a pull-out couch and a dining room table and chairs, and eventually, I'll even have a real bed (currently, I have an air mattress on top of my old futon's mattress in my bedroom)...but what's the point of all of this space if it's just me? Don't get me wrong: I love my space and my privacy, etc., but I really feel like this apartment is an ideal "young couple starting out" apartment. It's a perfect apartment for after-work dinners on our couch, entertaining our friends in the dining room, having lazy Sunday mornings in the bedroom.... I don't think there's any denying it anymore (not that I was, but...): it's time to get serious. Of course, this spurs on my Alexandra agitation, as I can't progress to that level of seriousness if I'm still having a high school-level long distance relationship with someone. But anyway, these were my thoughts this weekend...when I apparently had way too much time to think about things....

On a lighter note, as I mentioned yesterday, I saw Wall-E on Friday. I think there are two ways of looking at Wall-E: as a movie without much of any context and on a purely emotional level, it's amazingly great. It's brisk, it's funny, it's heartbreaking, it's inventive, it's fun and it's innovative...I'll admit that I teared up a bit at the end (just a bit, though...and then I punched a child to regain my street cred). So on that level, it's wholly recommended and absolutely deserves at least the Best Animated Feature Academy Award (sorry, Kung Fu Panda...you were better than expected, but you did not have me at "Skadoosh").

But if one were to look at Wall-E and purely judge its satire, well, it's a bit (aka really) hypocritical. In the movie, the human race basically ruins the Earth (thanks to a giant world-owning conglomerate known as Buy & Large) and ends up devolving into giant lazy baby-esque creatures on board their spaceship. The "people should stop being fat and lazy" aspect of the satire works fine (take that, middle America!), but it's the Buy & Large part that's slightly troubling. The company is clearly supposed to be Wal-Mart/Costco-esque, which are stores that more than deserve satirical roastings...but the thing is, Wall-E, for all its aspirations towards 1970s-era science fiction, is still a big summer Disney movie that's counting on toy and eventual DVD/Blu-ray sales to make as much money as possible. So as I watched these light and friendly jabs at America's largest retailer(s), I couldn't help but feel that it sure will be ironic when an obese family picks up their full-screen copy of Wall-E on DVD this November at Wal-Mart. While there's the chance for subversive humor here, it just doesn't work in the greater context of "how the world works," particularly when it comes to a giant Disney summer tentpole movie. So again, if one divorces the film from its inevitable place in the gradual demise of Earth, it's a great, stunning film...but in context, it loses about half a star for being a bit hypocritical.

Anyway...I think that's all for now. Like I said, I'll be seeing Hancock on Wednesday (which is currently getting mixed reviews, with the mix percentage leaning more towards the negative...) and then Hellboy II next Friday (which is currently getting ecstatic early reviews...but then, as much as I wanted to love the first Hellboy, I just didn't, and Guillermo Del Toro is a bit hit or miss for me...). But all of this is prelude to The Dark Knight (also currently getting beyond-ecstatic early reviews)...oh my God am I looking forward to this movie. Did I ever mention that the final running time is actually 152 minutes (down from the initial rumor of 165 minutes, but still fucking epic)? Of course, what people seem to forget is that Batman Begins (which I still feel is a flawed movie at best) was around 140 minutes, so it's not a massive change...but happily, The Dark Knight eschews all of the prologue (no more mountain climbing and Batsuit inventing), cuts off the second-tier-bad-guy fat (Ra's Al Ghul...blah) and appears to mainline straight-up Bat-awesomeness into our veins (The Joker + Two-Face + all Gotham, all the time + consistent dark tone + allegedly intelligent screenplay = FUCK YEAH). Thankfully, the movie comes out during the one weekend in July when I have nothing going on, so I'll be seeing it that Friday night it opens as soon as I'm done with work (I would consider taking the day off, but I just did that for my move...oh well).

Okay, after I wrote that paragraph, I just sat here at my desk for about five minutes and thought about how incredible The Dark Knight will be, before I shook off my brief stupor and remembered that I should get back to work. But first, I'll wipe away my drool and get some coffee so as to power through the rest of the day.

I know I haven't been writing as often lately, but at least this week, I have some semblance of an excuse (aside from work): I've been preparing for and accomplishing my move from Van Nuys to the west side of Los Angeles. While Van Nuys is still very definitely part of Los Angeles County (and the city as a whole, until the San Fernando Valley finally either proclaims its independence and emancipates itself from Los Angeles [as they have threatened to do] or simply suffocates from the extreme heat and smog buildup), it's not a well-liked part. Remember in Clueless when Cher said that she hates going anywhere north of Olympic (though Jennie thinks she said Wilshire or Sunset because Olympic doesn't make any sense, given everything that's just slightly north of that street...I'm inclined to agree with her, but I'm too lazy to check IMDB or the movie itself)? Cher was basically referring to the entirety of the Valley, voicing the pent-up embarrassment of Angelinos everywhere over their boring, suburban neighbors.

But for me, I was rarely embarrassed by my address...rather, I was initially seduced by the "away from it all" aspect of the Valley, the cheap rent, the abundant Taco Bells. However, as time went on, I realized that the Valley is intended for families and/or people in their forties and above. Indeed, it's a lovely place to raise a family and own a small patch of grass to call one's own, but for a single twenty-something who worked first in West LA and then in Culver City, it was a sinking pit of misery. The commute...well, I've complained about the commute often enough, but I'll still say that I became sick and tired of it about two and a half years ago, and it's only gotten worse in the last year and a half (when I worked at G4, I worked from 4 AM to 12 PM, so traffic wasn't much of an issue...but when I started work in Culver City, my hours became from 9 AM to 6 PM, which made me into one of the thousands of daily rush hour commuters...hellish). Plus, like I've said, unless I wanted a strip club (which I didn't) or an auto body shop, there was nothing for me to do in the Valley, no place for me to go and be social with other single people my age.

Here on the west side, though, I'm within walking, biking or non-freeway driving distance to a multitude of things: beaches, the Santa Monica Pier, bars, restaurants, clubs, Chipotle, work...basically, it's where I need to be right now. I've wasted too much time commuting or frying in the searing heat of the Valley, and I'm beyond grateful to have had the resources to get out of there. I'm actually typing this from my new apartment...it's Sunday afternoon, and after a relative scramble to get everything moved over here (done in four trips: one car-load Thursday night after work, one car-load Friday morning [took the day off from work], one U-Haul load Friday night, and one final car-load Saturday morning), I'm actually all unpacked. Craziness, really...I thought it would take me weeks to get unpacked. But I guess not...though I'm still missing a pullout couch and a dining room table/chair set (both of which are coming down from Napa next weekend...that's going to be tricky). But anyway, now that I'm relatively settled, I can definitely say one thing: I love my new apartment.

Still...I can't extol my new apartment without admitting some sadness over leaving my old one. In its memory, was going to do a top five list of favorite moments at my apartment, until I realized that the moments wouldn't really be apartment-specific. For instance, I could say that having Krystal come to visit in February 2005 was one of the better times in my apartment, but that really had nothing to do with the apartment itself...in fact, given that the apartment was a studio, allowing for no real privacy or alone time for the entirety of the week, I could almost say that the apartment was an impediment to that memory.

So instead, I'll just remember moving into that apartment...it was actually my first real apartment. Sure, I'd shared a tiny two bedroom apartment with Becky on the Upper East Side of Manhattan (I'll certainly not complain about the location--I mean, goddamn, that was awesome--but the apartment itself was extremely tiny and Becky's bedroom was really more of a sizable closet, literally), but that was a) paid for by college money and b) shared with someone. Plus, Becky was the one who had done the legwork and had actually found the place and signed all the paperwork...it was more hers, really, even though I paid more (but I digress...). But my Van Nuys apartment...that was all mine.

I started driving to Los Angeles from New York on September 1st, 2004 and arrived at my friend Cassie's house on September 5th (it wasn't actually her house...she was renting a room from two ladies and they all kindly let me sleep on their living room couch for a few days). Even though it was agreed that I could stay with Cassie for at least a week, I decided to find a place as quickly as possible, so as not to overstay my welcome. However, as I had never been to Los Angeles before and didn't know the city at all, it was hard to determine what areas to search. Cassie and I looked online and I asked her knowledgeable opinion about various areas. Of course, being a poor recent college graduate with no current job, money was tight...so when I saw a studio apartment for $688 a month in Van Nuys, I jumped at the opportunity to visit it (after Cassie gave her slightly-hesitant nod of approval over the location).

On September 6th, Cassie and I drove from her house in Inglewood to Van Nuys...for those of you who know Los Angeles, you know how ridiculously far that is, and for those of you who don't, it's basically a forty minute drive without traffic on the 405. Both places are still Los Angeles, but they're practically at opposite ends of the city. Given that I thought I would be visiting Cassie often, this trek seemed ridiculous, but luckily, I quickly became too lazy to make the drive and then Cassie moved away from LA without telling me (ha ha, what a delightful story...coincidentally, Cassie is actually coming to visit Los Angeles starting today and we're having lunch tomorrow and Tuesday...clearly, she's my "moving charm"). But again, I digress....

The apartment was small, sure, but after living in a tiny room in Manhattan with an increasingly bitter roommate, it seemed like all the space in the world, and it was all mine. Plus, for $688 a month, it would have been stupid not to take it. It also came with a parking spot, there was laundry on site, and the courtyard area was like a secret garden...it all felt very Californian. After thinking it over for about five minutes with Cassie, we called to set up a lease signing for the next day and toasted to my new residence at a nearby Taco Bell (which was another perk...it was just down the street!). On September 7th, I signed the lease and moved in...and despite all my bitching and moaning (did I mention that it was directly under the landing path for Burbank Airport?), I'll never regret living there. Sure, I may bemoan the fact that I lived there for quite so long (I should have moved when I started my new job), but it was an amazing apartment and I loved it.

Anyway...my boss is on vacation this week, so I believe I should have some time to write at work...which is good, as I have more to discuss. I saw Wall-E on Friday (I took a movie break during my move) and want to talk about that...plus, I hope to talk about the dangers of seduction and comfort (not related to my new apartment, for it has seduced me with its comfort...it has a dishwasher!). But I'll save that for tomorrow. I am somewhat excited about tomorrow, though, as it will be my first day of not commuting to and from work on the freeway. I plan on leaving for work at around 8:15 or so...unheard of! Not that I'm looking forward to work itself...but at least I won't be arriving there at 7:30 in the morning. Progress.

I decided not to bring my laptop to Las Vegas, given that the majority of my time there will be dedicated to either work or work-related dinner/theatre (we're seeing Jersey Boys tonight) and it wasn't worth the extra weight in my carry-on. Actually, it's because my carry-on is mostly filled by the PlayStation 3 I have to lug for our demos. Shipping it was too risky (damage, delay, etc.), so I've become the PS3 mule. At least I don't have to smuggle it through customs in a balloon up my ass....

Given my lack of 20th/21st century technology, I've decided to do an "old school" blog and actually write this entry with pen and paper. Crazy, I know, but I'm currently at the Burbank Airport and am bored. It was either this or that other old fashioned concept: reading. I just started reading Love In The Time of Cholera, and while I feel slightly dirty reading an Oprah Book Club selection (as it will be yet another thing that depressed middle-aged housewives and I have in common), its "modern classic" status and themes won me over. What's better to read when one is pining for an impossible dream of a person than a novel about unrequited love? It's pretty good so far, but I'm only on page 6, and frankly, I'm not wholly in the mood at the moment.

The idea is that I'll transcribe this "post" when I get home tomorrow night, with the "catch" being that I can't change any of it. Of course, that would be an exciting concept if I expected to go through drastic changes between now and then, as it would become a "before and after" scenario. Instead, I'm just going to do some work, see a show, sleep a bit, do some more work and fly home...the only "before and after" scenario here is that I'm currently at least $20 richer than I'll be after I gamble (I expect to lose...not the best attitude, but a realistic expectation nonetheless).

But outside of the novelty of this pseudo-post, I actually do have things on my mind. It's amazing how out of practice one becomes when one uses computers...I feel like I'm thinking faster than I can write. It's bothersome. I do want to delve into some of my issues, but I feel like I'll get a hand cramp before I get to my point or I'll just tire of scribbling altogether. It makes me wonder if my sister and her generation have ever really put pen to paper. Man, their generation sucks. Movies like Disaster Movie are catered to their generation and it makes me angry that their ADD sensibilities are choking movies and TV, music, etc...at least they don't read, so books are generally safe. I know that that's what the previous generation said about our 80s and 90s spectacles, but at least our generation was weaned on actual movies like Jurassic Park, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Toy Story, Big...even the unfairly-maligned (of late) Titanic is Shakespeare compared to John Tucker Must Die, Prom Night, Fantastic Four or any other movie that my sister's generation has made popular.

So this is what getting old feels like...huh. Feels like a comfortable old shirt that I've worn forever.

Is it wrong that I'm so very amused by the fact that my flight number is 69? Could they really not use a different number? 68, perhaps? 70? I mean, 69 is just asking for trouble...and on a flight to Las Vegas, no less. That's where 69-ing was invented! Additionally, it seems unfortunate that they combined a Las Vegas flight with a Salt Lake City continuation...two ends of the stereotypical spectrum there.

And that's where I stopped writing. Truly, my grand experiment kind of fell to the wayside once I got on the plane (though it was a little before that, actually...a woman sat down next to me and started talking loudly on her cell phone, so I could no longer concentrate). However, it seems that several of my assumptions about my trip came true:

- I did lose far more money than I won...I think I ended up spending $60 or so at the slots (including the dollar of a friend who had asked me to play it for him...I did him quite the disservice and will never forgive myself), and during that time, the most I was ever up was about five or ten dollars...bummer. I think my gambling luck is at an end after the heyday of 2004 when I won around $200-something. Oh well...it was sort of fun to gamble...sort of....

- It was, in fact, a good idea not to bring my laptop. The internet was pricey at the hotel and I really wouldn't have had time to use it, anyway. The whole trip was like a rum-and-Coke-soaked blur...I was too busy to really sit down and get online, and when I did have some time, I was too brain-dead to focus on e-mails. Besides, my bag was heavy enough.

- There really weren't any drastic changes between takeoff in Burbank and my return home last night. I suppose that's a good thing, really.

Overall, the trip itself was good. It got off to a bit of a rocky start, as our first BD-Live demo setup encountered some technical difficulties, and after last week's minor debacle, my boss and I were on edge about the whole concept of demoing the technology in a public setting (again, the technology works, but as our demo relies on the internet connectivity and connection speed, it's always difficult to fully ensure that there won't be failures). But our setup for the second demo went very well and we were heartened thereafter.

To clarify: my boss was doing two BD-Live demos at this event, which is the Entertainment Merchants Association's annual convention. All of the studios come to this event to demo their new wares, talk with consumers, and most importantly, have meetings with retailers. It's sort of like a (very) mini CES. In years past, this has been one of the crucial events for our industry during the year, but in recent years, it has declined in status and is now...I wouldn't say "sparsely attended," but it's certainly in its later years of life. But there are still enough meetings going on and there's enough business to be done so as to justify the expense (plus, home theater nerds still attend...it's one of the few opportunities during the year for them to talk directly with the studio representatives).

Anyway, our first demo was during the event's opening keynote panel, wherein my boss would walk out on stage, show off our Men in Black BD-Live capabilities, and then walk off (he wasn't a part of the official panel...he was just there to demo). The second demo was actually the one that interested me the most: a BD-Live demo for the Home Theater Forum. For the sake of brevity, I'll call them the HTF, and for the sake of full disclosure, I'll say that I've actually been a member of said forum since around 1999 (or I've been reading it since then...I think I've only been an actual member since 2001). The HTF was one of those first sites I started reading after I got my DVD player, and even though I feel that DVD Talk is actually a better forum these days (though HTF is certainly more palatable than AVS Forum and Blu-ray.com...God, I'm a fucking nerd), HTF is still in my daily rotation of sites.

So it was weird to walk into the conference room on Monday (the two actual demos were on Tuesday, while our setup for both was on Monday) and see these strangely familiar faces and names. Of course, as I've said before, it was also uniquely satisfying to walk in as a studio representative...it's times like that when I really and truly love my job. It was also nice because I was, for once, in a more comfortable and familiar environment than my boss and was able to prep him for the types of questions he would get (which all turned out to be accurate). Truly, my ego was well and duly stroked whenever I stepped into that room.

On the other hand, though, my "people" were a bunch of goddamn nerds. Who enters a room and spouts a Dr. Strangelove quote as a greeting? Seriously, there may as well have been a suitcase full of inhalers and pocket protectors as backup for the attendees. After our initial setup but before the actual demo, my boss and I were sitting in our studio's Hospitality Suite discussing the demo...when we started talking about the attendees, I told my boss that, had things gone differently, I'd probably be out there in that audience asking him questions. He then joked that I'd be the one asking about when Annie was coming to Blu-ray and what BD-Live functionality it would have...if only he knew how right he was, though....

But anyway, to make a long story short, the two demos went very well this time. Plus, I had a very good time with my boss and the other studio representatives that were there, dinner on Monday night was great, Jersey Boys was fun, and my hotel room was a little bit amazing (they upgraded me because I was only staying one night). All in all, it was good stuff.

This week is a little crazy, though: while I will be here at work tomorrow, I'm also picking up the keys to my new apartment tomorrow night. Once I have those keys, the great moving adventure begins. I'm taking work off on Friday and planning to spend all day getting as much moving done as possible (with a break for an afternoon show of Wall-E). The goal is to be all moved in by Friday night so as to do the final walk-through at my old apartment, get my security deposit back, and be back at my new place in time to meet the cable guy that afternoon. I'm definitely nervous about the move, but I think that's mostly because I've had so much time to think about it...I signed the lease on May 17th, so I've been planning this for over a month now. I just want to get the move over with at this point. Unfortunately, my nervousness is currently clouding my excitement and I'm not allowing myself to think about the amazing benefits to this new apartment...but I'll start thinking about them on Monday when I leave for work at 8:15 instead of 7 (and I could leave later than that, but I still want to be a half hour early).

Fun fact before I go: in Kindergarten, I was almost kicked out of my private school (Manlius Pebble Hill) because I would finish my work before everyone else and then become bored and bother the other kids. I only mention this because I just realized that I haven't changed too much since then: even though I had an enormous amount of work to do when I got back here to the office this morning, I now have it all under control. Therefore, I took a stroll over to Jamie's and Heather's desks to talk with them, as I am now bored, only to find that I was distracting them from their work. Good times.

While I wouldn't exactly say that this weekend's box office figures offered "poetic justice," per se (as that sort of justice is better left to situations filled with irony and comeuppances), it does seem appropriate that one of this weekend's failures involved the concept of karma (and no, it wasn't My Name Is Earl: The Movie...if only...). Yes, Mike Myers' return to the big screen, The Love Guru, crashed and burned with a limp weekend total of $14M...a far cry from the $73M opening weekend Austin Powers in Goldmember brought in. In fact, it's less than half the amount that his last on-screen effort made in its opening weekend: 2003's The Cat and The Hat, execrable though it may be, at least made a respectable $38M in its opening weekend. (Special thanks to Box Office Mojo for making my crass monetary comparisons so effortless.)

But why would I celebrate in the failure of the Once and Future Wayne? Truth be told, I really didn't realize that I disliked Myers as a performer prior to this year. Sure, I was just as sick and tired of the worlds' Austin Powers impressions as everyone else was, and yes, Myers did sort of run that concept into the ground. But frankly, I almost feel comfortable saying that...well...yes, I adore the first Austin Powers. Taken as a singular movie and story separated from its sequels, its bad imitators, and Myers' personal life (more on that in a moment), Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery was an amazingly silly, breathlessly funny movie that scored a direct hit on my 15-year old funny bone. The fact that I hadn't even yet experienced the subject Myers was parodying (the only Bond movie I had seen at that point was GoldenEye, a far cry from the 1967 Casino Royale and In Like Flint spy worlds that were the subject of Powers' lampoonery) didn't diminish the movie's impact, as it was just plain funny. My friends and I watched the first film again and again on video (and then again on DVD: it was a hard bundle with my first DVD player), and for a while, it was okay--and funny!--to express yourself with "Yeah, babys" and "Oh, behaves" (I still occasionally whip out "Who throws a shoe? Honestly," and "No, this is me in a nutshell" in non-ironic ways).

While most of the world was impatiently waiting for Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace during the summer of 1999, my friends and I were probably more excited about Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (and we certainly were after actually witnessing the misery that was Phantom Menace...I mean, my God...). And while I don't remember our exact reaction to the film after finally seeing it, I do remember a great number of laughs. If I recall, we may have agreed that it was weak in spots and not perfect, but hey, it was damn funny. These days, Spy Who Shagged Me hasn't aged terribly well (Jerry Springer references...sigh), but the first two Austin Powers movies will still forever be intrinsic parts of my high school experience.

Goldmember, on the other hand, came out during college, and by that time, my high school group had (understandably) splintered...there was obviously no grand plan to reunite for a final Austin Powers film. Therefore, that movie always feels slightly different from the other two...I ended up seeing it in Miami with my stepdad. It was humorous, to be sure (and possibly better than Spy Who Shagged Me overall), but it was clear that the Austin Powers days were at an end (even though the film sort of set up an interesting concept for a fourth film). And more to the overall point, at that time, I still felt that Myers was mostly bulletproof. Shrek had come out by then, as well (and despite all the well-earned backlash [thanks to the extremely below-average Shrek the Third], the first two Shreks were pretty entertaining, in my opinion), and at the time, I was pleased to welcome the next Mike Myers creation that would come along.

Cut to early 2008. Apparently, Mike Myers has a new film coming out this year. Interested (but not excited, per se), I download the trailer for this new "Love Guru" film...and it looks so world-suckingly unfunny that my face literally looks like I've ingested fourteen lemons by the time the trailer finishes. I vow then and there to not see this Love Guru in theaters and only pray that the rest of the country doesn't actually find this funny enough to make it popular. Interestingly, I didn't hold out much hope that it would actually, you know, be funny: maybe the trailers were only showing the horrible parts, maybe it'll be better in context...none of that. Where did my Mike Myers love go? Did the last five years change me so much that I no longer find the same things funny?

But that's sort of the thing: from the trailer, it looked like Love Guru was presenting the exact same jokes as Austin Powers. Except they weren't funny (many would argue that they weren't funny in Austin Powers, either, but to that I say: well, it depends on which Austin Powers movie we're talking about). And Jessica Alba is a wretched excuse for an actress...I don't even find her that attractive (outside of a basic "you have boobs" sort of way) and she's definitely not funny (at least Heather Graham was able to fool everyone into thinking that she was a good actress during Spy Who Shagged Me...remember those days?). I honestly can't put my finger on why I was so against Love Guru, but apparently, my feelings were shared by virtually every film critic in America; their knives were sharpened and ready for Myers.

Could it be because he's a Peter Sellers-esque asshole in his personal life? Maybe that's it for Hollywood insider-types who know and hate the man, but frankly, I had only heard snippets of this talk over the years and it had never coalesced into an outright resentment (unlike M. Night Shyamalan's egotism...more on that in a moment). As much as I hate to say it, I think it all comes down to general indifference and, again, that horrible, horrible trailer that turned out to be more representative of the finished film than it should have been. I hate to say that because the latter statement is basically judging a book by its cover (well, and by a few randomly read pages while standing in the bookstore) and the former isn't terribly forgiving of a performer who has brought me a great deal of entertainment. Some have said that Myers' comedy isn't relevant in these Apatow/Ferrell days, but I don't wholly agree with that. I think there's always a place for good comedy, whether it's silly or insightful or bawdy...it's just a matter of being funny. And Mike Myers may no longer be funny.

As for the weekend's other satisfying box office result, M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening fell from around $40M in its first weekend to $10M this past weekend...ouch. That basically says that audiences initially wanted to see what he had to offer, but didn't like what they saw. I don't think this will stop Shyamalan from making movies, but it will hopefully put a crimp in his mega-ego (his relatively recent American Express commercial was basically about how amazing he is at coming up with stories and how everyone loves his work). I don't know...these days, it's easy to bash Shyamalan. True, I was doing it long before most, but now that audiences have started to recognize his name more as a sign of a half-baked, slow-moving pretentious ego-trip than as a sign of quality, I don't feel the need to bang the drum as much anymore. To that end, I've decided to end my eight year-long ban on Shyamalan's movies and start seeing his post-Unbreakable work (yes, 2000's Unbreakable was the last Shyamalan film I had seen...how can I judge him without having seen four of his six "big" movies? It was more about railing against his ego and boycotting his work altogether than it was about the movies themselves). To that end, I saw Signs this past week. Yeah...not that great. Well directed in parts, but slow and dull and ultimately silly (though one fun part of the movie: incorporating Mel Gibson's recent troubles into some of the film's moments. For instance: there was some scene wherein a character was telling Mel Gibson's character about how people were running to churches and temples and synagogues. The film cuts to Mel's face as the other character says synagogues and Mel suddenly looks intense and angry, as though he were angered by this mention of those horrible, horrible synagogues, when his character is actually upset about the alien invasion...funny). Swing away, indeed. Next up: The Village.

But for all of my elitism when it comes to movies, I did still see Get Smart this weekend. The first hour and a half or so: kind of bad. The last twenty minutes: not great, but there was some surprisingly solid action and a couple of laughs to be had. However, as I can name the moments that made me laugh and count them on one hand (Bill Murray in a tree, "Boo hoo, she's such a bitch," "What a douche," vomiting in flight and the line from the trailers about how "you probably didn't expect him to lift you so high"), that's probably a sign that it wasn't terribly funny overall. I do like Steve Carell and wish him better than this, but if this or Love Guru had to take the top spot this weekend, I'm glad it was this. Oddly enough, I would almost be willing to see a sequel...I can't explain this phenomenon, but maybe it's because the characters were likable while the script itself was weak. But hey, I only paid six dollars for it and got to see the Dark Knight trailer again...can't beat that.

And speaking of trailers: there was a trailer before the movie for Disaster Movie, the new "film" from the creators of Meet The Spartans, Date Movie and Epic Movie. I can't find the trailer online, but...my God...I can't even...it's so...a movie like this almost makes me want Hollywood to just shut down and go away. Seriously, it pains me that this sort of ass-porridge is being poured over movie screens. I don't hate many things in life, but I'll go out on a limb and state that I hate these "______ Movies." I would rather see the next M. Night Shyamalan movie make $100M in one weekend than see this make two cents. Once the trailer is online, please download it and see for yourselves...then show your children or any children you know, so that they can understand what true evil is and fight against it...maybe their generation can be saved....

The latter part of this past week was hectic at work, and it seems like this week will be similar...only with the addition of personal activities. Indeed, I'll be moving this coming weekend (my current plan involves a late-Thursday, most-of-the-day Friday schedule) into my new apartment...very exciting. Plus, I'm off to Las Vegas for work tomorrow. After last Monday's demo foul-up, I'm a little bit on edge about the two demos we have on Tuesday, but hopefully my "advance work" will allow for a relatively smooth experience (knock on wood). It's also painfully hot here in Southern California right now, and as usual, it's ten degrees hotter here in the Valley than anywhere else in Los Angeles...ugh. My car said it was 112 degrees yesterday, but it may have just been having heat stroke. Either way, that has equated to a lazy, sticky Sunday afternoon...I suppose I should enjoy this laziness while I can.

Why does my hand smell like maple syrup? It's certainly far better than some alternatives, but I haven't eaten any maple syrup.... I'm tempted to check WebMD to see if I should be worried (is "maple syrup-smelling hands" indicative of appendicitis? An ulcer? Hair loss?), but it would be done out of boredom rather than out of any actual concern. I can already tell that it's going to be a rough day...it's still too far from the weekend to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm sort of dry when it comes to pressing tasks. I don't need WebMD to tell me that this distance combined with this dryness equals a boring, frustrating day. Toss in a general air of crankiness (not all mine...my team seems a little edgy this week) and it adds up to overall unpleasantness.

And now it's 5:30...my day sort of picked up around 11, much to my relief. Of course, now I have to debate between trashing this post altogether and starting over from scratch tomorrow (given that it will be unacceptably short) or soldiering on to verbally preserve my conflicted feelings about today (and to preserve my "maple syrup hands" story for all time, like a mosquito trapped in amber). Given that I've already gone this far with my discussion over whether or not to continue today, I suppose I'll just bang something out.

Have you ever sat in a room full of people (adults, mind you) and thought to yourself: "Huh...all of these people have probably had sex with someone before"? While this may not necessarily work in every situation (Bible Camp, for instance), it's an unsettling and often disturbing mental digression. Mind you, it's not really a matter of actually imagining each person having sex (that's just horrible...scarring, even), but just the general knowledge that every person in the room has likely become intimate enough with a fellow human being to engage in the metaphorical "sloppy handshake" that is sex. It's weird...it's also distressing to keep track of how often my mind wanders when it's bored in a meeting or something.

I think that's all I have today...I'm out. Yes, that's right: scented hands and sexual digressions are all I can offer today. I could talk about the movie I watched last night (How The West Was Won...not very good), but I can't summon the energy to do so beyond that brief parenthetical blurb. Seventeen minutes to go before the end of the day...hooray. I did the math this morning on the way to work and discovered that, counting today, I only have six more days of commuting from the Valley to work before my move (it would have been eight, but I'll be in Las Vegas two days next week for work...did I mention that?). Six more days...twelve more trips (eleven now...ten after I get home tonight...). I would be more excited, but I'm dreading the physical move. Still...only six more days of commuting....

It appears that Emma Watson will now be a new face for Chanel (I guess their "Coco Mademoiselle" line of something-or-other...I don't know fashion). To this, I say "huzzah" and whatnot. I've always enjoyed Ms. Watson's performances as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films and look forward to this additional outlet of Watson-y goodness. However, it is a bit sad to see her strolling down the Keira Knightley avenue of celebrity...I'm not sure why, exactly, but it still seems unfortunate. I'm not a Keira Knightley fan...she was decent in Bend It Like Beckham and more than serviceable in the Pirates of the Caribbean films, but otherwise, she's unpleasantly overrated (an Academy Award nomination for Pride & Prejudice? Her bony, brittle, boring performance in the altogether pointless Atonement?). I suppose my dislike for Keira Knightley really has very little to do with Emma Watson, given that their only link is this campaign...the important thing is that Emma Watson looks "tarted up" in the photo accompanying the linked article.

Does anyone else feel completely ugly as they go about their days at work? I don't know...I just feel like a constant mess, even if I'm not (or am I?). I always feel like my hair is flopping one way or the other, like my eyes are constantly encrusted with sleep crystals, like I have a horrible dandruff problem that everyone but me can see, like my clothes clearly show how lumpy and unappealing I am, like I'm exuding an unpleasant scent that everyone talks about behind my back...or maybe I'm just a touch neurotic. Ironically, I feel like these neurotic concerns somehow give way to vanity: because I'm always worried about how I look, I end up looking at myself in any reflective surface and trying to reassure myself that I look good (or halfway presentable). HOW IRONIC.

Regardless of my neuroses, the event yesterday went all right...except that, after all six or seven non-consecutive hours of setting up for this presentation, it went awry, anyway. In spite of all our careful, tedious planning and preparation, we were unable to anticipate a server failure in a small town outside of London. My boss was supposed to demonstrate our Men in Black interactive trivia game, with which you can play a surprisingly fun trivia game alongside anyone else logged into the system from across the world. To demonstrate this international reach, we coordinated with a colleague in our London office so that he would play against my boss from his home in Brighton during the presentation. My part was to sit in the audience on my boss's cell phone and talk to our British colleague to let him know when we were starting, when the tournament was ready, etc. Unfortunately, as my boss began to set up the game, our British colleague turned on his disc to see...a black screen. My boss began to look anxiously at me as industry associates and members of the press waited for the demo to start...and all I could do was shake my head to let him know that it wasn't going to happen. Unfortunate.

So that was embarrassing for all of us. I mean, don't get me wrong: the interactive game works perfectly fine...we had even tested it with our British colleague several times earlier that day. But clearly, the fates were unhappy with BD-Live or perhaps they were pissed off that we delayed I Still Know What You Did Last Summer...either way, it was embarrassing. Actually, the BD-Live demonstration worked fine...just not the game part. It was interesting, though: when we couldn't demo the game, I thought, "Well, that sucks and is embarrassing for my boss...but oh well, it's not the end of the world." After the panel was over, the head of our Publicity department came to us and asked, "What went wrong?" I explained what happened, and he said, "Well, now we're going to have to issue a statement and run around to every member of the press to let them know that it actually works. This could generate bad press." Which was weird...it was strange to be in a situation wherein I would normally feel like, "oh, what's the big deal?", when really, it could actually generate "bad press." No one was mad or anything, but it always seems strange when decisions made by my boss or our co-workers become "press."

It's sort of like when I went to college in New York: when I first arrived, it was all new and amazing: "Wow, I'm in New York City. The New York City! There's the Statue of Liberty, only a few miles from my classroom. There's the Empire State Building, within walking distance." And so on. But as time went on, New York just became home...it wasn't as amazing and it definitely wasn't new: "Dammit, I have to drop something off at 15th and 3rd and then get to Washington Square Park by 2. Ugh, the Park...." It wasn't until people came to visit or when I got out of Manhattan to see it from afar that I remembered how cool it was that I lived there. Seeing the Empire State Building or Central Park through a newcomer's eyes reminded me how mind-blowingly cool it was to live in New York...it's easy to take a place for granted after a while (for the record, I feel similarly about Los Angeles and Hollywood and all that, but it's not the same as how I initially felt about New York...I wanted to write stories about and take infinite pictures of New York, whereas I'm trying to write stories and take pictures to get away from Los Angeles).

That reaction is similar to my feelings about working here, specifically in the home entertainment department, and specifically for this budding new format. As I think I've said before, ever since I was given my first DVD player (thanks again, Chris and Tina!) back in 1999, I've been wrapped up in release schedules and special features and the overwhelming enjoyment of building a library of my favorite films. I trolled a wide variety of websites to get the latest info on what was coming up from each studio. One of my favorite events throughout the year was Studio Day, wherein studio representatives would gather at some place in LA (a now-defunct high-class video store, I think) and dish to roving website reporters about what their plans were for the year. I remember the palpable joy I felt when I read the list of titles that were being worked on: a Die Hard special edition! The Back to the Future Trilogy! Maybe Star Wars in 2003! Etc.

The inevitable point to this story is that I now work for one of those home entertainment companies, and at a vastly exciting time: with DVD having lost some of its luster, Blu-ray is stepping in to bolster sales and reinvent packaged media. But boring sales figures aside, more importantly, this means one crucial thing: that the title excitement can begin all over again with Blu-ray. The Die Hard special edition on Blu-ray! The Back to the Future Trilogy in 2009 (so I hear)! Maybe Star Wars in 2013! Etc. I'm an easy mark and a glutton, consumer-wise...I want to re-buy, I want all of my favorite movies to look and sound as great as possible, I want snazzy new cases and new special features and more, more, MORE!

So yeah, I love Blu-ray as a potential filmmaker (it's the most accurate representation of the theatrical experience for the home without all the compromises of DVD, plus it offers so many opportunities for unique special features) and as a home entertainment connoisseur. And much like my New York experience, there's the wide-eyed "this is awesome!" side of things and the mundane "ugh, if I have to demonstrate BD-Live one more time, I'm going to cut myself" other side. Because it's work, I'd estimate that I'm leaning towards the latter side around 90% of the time...sure, it's awesome that we're releasing some great titles this year, but there's so much work to be done in order to get them out....

And then there's the other 10% of the time when I'm able to step away from my desk and see how freaking amazing it is that I get to work for this company and in this position. This usually happens at events like Comic-Con and CES (or even smaller events, like the one yesterday or VSDA next week) when I meet people like me who love movies and love owning them and want to get the inside scoop on what's coming out. For example: at CES, I got corralled into going to drinks with two reporters from Blu-ray.com. For the majority of the outing, the conversation was about random stories and getting-to-know-you stuff, but eventually, it turned to Blu-ray. It was a really interesting conversation, as normally, I would have been the one trying to pump the studio representative for information...but this time, I was the studio representative. That was kind of awesome.

Not that I'm suddenly above pumping: at yesterday's event, there was someone on my boss's BD-Live panel who was demoing some new interactive features. Given his company's affiliation with Fox Home Entertainment, he was using scenes from X-Men 2 to demonstrate their wares. Before the panel began, this person, my boss and I were talking about BD-Live and interactivity, etc...very professional and technical. As the conversation was winding down, I couldn't help but shift from being a professional into being an admitted nerd by blurting out: "So...is X-Men 2 coming out on Blu-ray this year?" My boss laughed and walked away (I can't quite tell if he's bemused or concerned by my nerdiness) and the fellow panel member indulged my curiosity. I remember about a year ago or so, someone from Fox stopped by our office to go to lunch with my boss. At that time, Fox had pulled all of their Blu-ray releases and hadn't announced anything new...so my potentially unprofessional query as to when they would start releasing titles again was semi-understandable. And then I started bombarding him with title-specific questions ("the Die Hard movies? The Alien movies? Moulin Rouge? Speed 2?")....

Speaking of titles, though, I have to express a modicum of disappointment: two (possibly three) titles that we had planned for this fourth quarter on Blu-ray that interested me greatly have now been delayed/canceled. Obviously, I can't discuss the titles by name (oh, how I would love to write a big, long post on work specifics...), but dammit, I was looking forward to them. Sure, we still have some great stuff coming this year (we're announcing one of my all-time favorites for Blu-ray within the next week or two), but it always frustrates me when we delay good titles and allow the sub-par stuff to trickle through (again, I can't name all the "good titles" we've pushed out, but just look at some of the Blu-ray titles we've announced for August: XXX: State of the Union? Felon? CJ7? Maximum Risk? Fucking hell...).

Seriously, though, it's sometimes incredibly difficult not to call or e-mail the various studio contacts I now have in order to pump them for release info. I do get some info here and there, but it's never enough to sate my nerdy needs. It's like back in 1999 when I would scour the internet to see if anyone had release info about various titles...only now, my info comes straight from the source and I drink it in like a raging alcoholic at a kegger. If it wouldn't be the most unprofessional thing ever, I would literally e-mail my contacts with a list of movies and ask them when they were being released on Blu-ray. Normally, the contacts I do ask are as forthcoming as they can be and very friendly (professional courtesy and all)...most of the time. At last year's Comic-Con, I asked the SVP of Fox's Worldwide Publicity department about their upcoming titles (my stories often seem to be about Fox, but they're not actually the studio with which I have the most contact)...he gave me a short and scathingly sarcastic answer. Ouch...burn.

That's probably one of the reasons why I had a quiet yet undeniable urge to go to Comic-Con this year...sure, in terms of the actual event itself and the work I'll be doing once there, I had no real desire to go, but deep down, I couldn't help but want to feel "in the know" amongst people who care about such things. It's a bit of a power trip, I admit...but the thing is, it's such a specific group of people that even begin to care about when Starship Troopers or In The Line of Fire are coming out on Blu-ray that it's rare to be around anyone who wants to pump me for information. I have to take it where I can get it, really. To be as pompous and self-aggrandizing as possible: it's being "in the know" amongst people who care about such things that helps get me over the everyday humps of this job. Lame and vastly deluded, I know...but hey, when you're sitting in a ballroom with a hundred people around you and your boss is staring at you with building panic in his eyes and a kindly British voice on the other end of the cell phone you're holding is saying "No...no, it's just not working," you have to embrace those prior good moments for all they're worth to get through such rough patches.

Back in high school and college, I used to have to write papers for my various English classes...and quite frankly, I was a bit terrible at it. I sometimes wonder if I could write better papers nowadays...yet I always come to the conclusion that no, I could not. I was always terrible at writing papers that had to prove a point, and thanks to my scriptwriting and this blog, I now understand why that was/is: I usually tend to lose track of my overall point, drowning it in a sea of digressions and diversions. What was the initial point of this post? I think it was about Emma Watson...and then it was about my insecurities...and finally, it was about Comic-Con. Now that's some structured writing. I suppose if I ever miss my high school or college days, I can reassure myself by remembering that, hey, at least I still write like I'm 17 or 18...nice.

I'm currently seated in the ballroom area of the Hyatt Regency in Century Plaza (next to Fox Plaza, aka Nakatomi Plaza...my heart soars every time I think about my proximity) eating a very crumbly bran muffin (at least I think it's bran)...unfortunately, every time I take a crumbly bite, someone chooses that moment to walk past and sees me making a mess. Unfortunate, really. But who am I to complain? Instead of sitting at the office, catching up on whatever annoying e-mails came in over the weekend, I'm seated in a plush chair with my name pinned to my shirt and my laptop at hand.

Today is the first day of the Home Entertainment Summit (put together by Home Media Magazine, a big trade magazine for the home entertainment industry) here in Los Angeles. It's one of the forty million conferences/events in which we participate throughout the year, and as I mentioned yesterday, it's another opportunity for the industry to celebrate itself and hold panels on the present and future of home entertainment. I'd spend more time verbally rolling my eyes at the constant stream of back-patting that this industry does for itself (the entertainment industry as a whole, really), but as I'm currently in a swanky ballroom as opposed to at my desk, I'll refrain (I actually moved between paragraphs...my "plush chair" was in the hallway through which everyone would be entering, and I have no desire to greet people at this time...now I'm hiding in an unused part of the ballroom in which the Opening Keynote speech will take place).

This is not to say that I have been able to refrain from work, though: I've been here since 7:30, dealing with our PlayStation 3's internet connectivity issues. And indeed, I was also here yesterday (Sunday) from 12:30 to 5:30 setting up our equipment...it should have been a quick installation (HDTVs get set up by the event's AV personnel, we connect our PlayStation via HDMI, we connect to the internet, BOOM: done), but there were complications. First the TVs wouldn't accept the PS3's signal via HDMI, so we had to convert the signal for the DVI inputs (which required getting adapters)...that took a couple of hours. And then, most damningly, the hotel's internet wasn't working. While I thought that this could be repaired by their on-site technical gurus (every hotel has them), it unfortunately became an issue between the hotel and their internet service provider...so basically, it was a matter of the hotel calling their internet company and handling it like I would if my internet went out at home: with frustration and no real result. That snafu represented the bulk of my five hours yesterday, with the ultimate joke being that the internet never did start working...I left because it was getting late and they promised that it would be working by this morning.

Of course, when my boss and I arrived this morning at 7:30 to try it out, surprise, it still wasn't working...but we quickly realized that it was an issue with our PlayStation rather than with the hotel's internet (which was actually working). Luckily, forty five minutes later, we were set and everything was up and running. Which brings us to now...wherein I have nothing to really do until we do a final test during the 12 PM lunch break (in preparation for my boss's 1:15 PM panel). After the presentation, I will actually go back to work, as I have much to do there, but it will at least be a drastically truncated day at the office (especially since I also hope to leave around 5).

But as for my weekend, I didn't really feel too slighted by having a huge five hour chunk sliced out of my Sunday...the only way in which it sucked was in the way that my time wasn't my own, making the day feel less like part of a weekend and more like a short day at work. Still overall, my weekend was fine-ish...I was able to pack some more in preparation for my move, I did my usual laundry and food shopping, I worked out, I earned five hours of overtime (another reason why I can't complain too loudly about yesterday)...I even saw The Incredible Hulk.

So how was it? Well, it was better than I thought it was going to be. I think I enjoyed it because my expectations were so stunningly low. It was one of those movie-going experiences wherein I was initially more interested by the trailers than I was by seeing the actual movie. Therefore, I found that it was generally pretty satisfying...not spectacular, but far from terrible. It did still suffer from "incoherent action syndrome," wherein the action is cut so quickly and the camera is so shaky and "dynamic" that it's hard to tell what's going on, let alone become engaged by the action. Seriously, what is it about directors and this awful, awful syndrome? Christopher Nolan suffered from it on Batman Begins, Jon Favreau on Iron Man (the final fight was frustrating in that respect), Michael Bay on Transformers (for a man whose primary calling card is "awesome action," he kind of screwed the pooch in that regard)...is it a byproduct of the CGI? Do these directors use such egregious editing to cover their filmmaking and effects seams? Even Steven Spielberg seemed a little overwhelmed with the jungle chase in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...that chase could demonstrate the best and worst of action filmmaking.

But anyway, The Incredible Hulk was relatively entertaining. Unfortunately, the last twenty minutes or so get a little bit muddled (the transition from Banner being the enemy to being the savior was a bit rough), but overall, I was pleased and my boredom was kept at bay (get it? At bay? At Bay? DID YOU GET IT?!?). It's been rumored (well, more than rumored...the director has been talking it up in interviews) that there will be an additional 70 minutes of footage on the DVD and Blu-ray release of the film, which basically confirms the earlier rumors of a dispute between Edward Norton and the studio over the length/version of the film. Norton allegedly wanted more character moments, while Universal/Marvel wanted a streamlined action film...apparently, the studio won out. I can't weigh in with an opinion on that until I see these mysterious 70 minutes (which supposedly includes an Arctic suicide attempt by Bruce Banner), but really, if the theatrical version is the "studio's cut," then their "interference" was not detrimental...the theatrical version is a generally enjoyable action movie. I can't quite determine whether or not I'll be getting said Blu-ray version to make this judgment, though...I did enjoy the movie, but I don't know if I liked it enough to want to sit through the requisite commentary/commentaries, featurettes, etc.

Speaking of movies, though, I watched the HBO miniseries John Adams this weekend...superb. This movie is easy to recommend if you're interested in American history (or just a generally great character study). I was impressed by the little details, the big picture, the sweeping arcs...nice work, HBO. And indeed, they generally kept their "not TV, it's HBO" pre-requisites to a minimum (ie: sex, graphic violence, language) so as to be historically accurate (in other words, they didn't "Sopranos it up"). Excellent movie and absolutely worth watching, if you have nine hours to spare (though I will warn that, after eight hours of sweeping history and intrigue, the last hour is a bit...depressing, what with the inevitable end...). Plus, smallpox is gross.

And that was basically my weekend. Like I've said, a week from today, I'll be winging my way towards Las Vegas to set up yet another demo (these things can be brutally painful, as yesterday demonstrated), and then next weekend is my big move. I look forward to living in my new apartment, but my God, do I dread the actual move. Luckily (or sadly), I don't really have too much stuff or much of any furniture about which to speak...but still...blah