I'm still trying to readjust from the time difference coming back from the east to the west coast. Apparently, my internal biorhythms (or whatever) are still strongly set to Eastern Time, and for the last four-plus years that I've lived here in Los Angeles, I've been struggling towards resetting those twenty-two years of east coast conditioning. Of course, my first job and apartment location out here didn't help...by living in the San Fernando Valley and working a 4 AM-12 PM shift as a transcriber at G4, I basically found myself living by east coast time here on the west coast (getting up at 3:30 AM is far more palatable when it feels like 6:30 AM...though it necessitates going to sleep at around 8 PM, aka 11 PM). This also caused my eating schedule to go a bit crazy; while breakfast still came around 8 AM (when Lemon Moon opened) and lunch was around 11 or noon, dinner would be around 4 (aka 7). Given my job and the fact that I lived at least twenty minutes away (without traffic), this schedule was acceptable for a while.
But once I started working at my current job and working normal 9 AM to 6 PM hours (complete with traffic, an hour's worth each way), it took a lot of adjustment to stop waking up and going to bed so early and eating at random times. It's really only been within the last year or so (especially since I moved to my current apartment and could wake up at 8:30 and make it to work on time) that I've finally become fully accustomed to Pacific Time. Lately, I wake up around 6:30 or 7 (depending on whether or not I have to work out) and go to sleep around 10 on average, with a normal eating schedule.
Which makes my return from the east coast a bit frustrating, especially since I woke up at 4:45 this morning. Presumably, I'll readjust to Pacific Time gradually, but for the time being, it's extremely annoying. Unfortunately, I've also found myself getting hungry earlier since my return yesterday, which is irritating. And to top it all off, I haven't been able to fall asleep for a nap today, even though I'm clearly really tired. I'm afraid that I'll end up falling asleep for the night around 8 and waking up at some ungodly hour again, which will be terrible what with having to go to work tomorrow. So all in all: grrr.
But speaking of falling asleep, I forced myself to see the new Baz Luhrmann movie this morning, the epic and stupidly-named Australia. Suffice it to say, I didn't like it. For some context, I really like Strictly Ballroom, really love William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, and outright adore Moulin Rouge...so the man has earned a degree of respect from me, which is probably why I went to see Australia even though it didn't actually look at all interesting. I didn't even know what it was really about going in...I just knew that there was some cattle drive, Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman fall in love, and it's set in Australia. Those things are all accurate...and yet, there's another hour or so of story that's basically superfluous. The movie has no real, coherent plot...it has a series of incidents and events that all add up to nothing in particular. And why is the title stupid? Because it would be like me making a movie entitled "America" that only earns that name by a) taking place in America, b) showing an extremely small sliver of the country's history as seen through the prism of an American and some foriegner who's learning about the land, and c) briefly and ineffectively commenting on some social malady. This movie should have been called "Outback" or "Drover" or something less...definitive. The current title puffs the movie up to epic proportions and implies something near definitive or at least defining...at least give us a story between characters that parallels your country's creation or something truly epic to earn that title. "Australia" is a vastly pretentious title for an ineffective and uninvolving movie that wants desperately to be Gone With The Wind.
As a lover of Moulin Rouge, even I admit that the first fifteen or twenty minutes of that movie are hard to take, due to the fast cutting and slapstick tone while you're trying to make sense of who people are and what's going on. But that movie is consistently over the top with its emotions and spectacle, so the near-psychotic pace of the beginning works well. Australia tries to do the same thing here...the first twenty minutes are painfully bad. Luhrmann clearly told Nicole Kidman to act as though she were in a Marx Brothers movie (that cross-eyed, goofy-ass reaction to the kangaroo being shot was wretched...I truly considered leaving at that point) and he apparently told Hugh Jackman to pretend he was the Russell Crowe parody from South Park (Fightin' Round The World indeed). The problem is that the remaining eighteen hours of the movie are pretty straight-faced and the acting totally calms down and approaches realism for the rest of the movie. So the first twenty minutes just stick out like a painful mistake that don't fit with the film at all...they actually detract from the movie and make the boring pseudo-plot and byzantine character list all that much more difficult to follow and care about.
The movie was doomed from the script stage...one review put it best when it said that the first half of the movie is an Australian take on a Western (done far better in The Proposition, I might add) and the second half is an Australian take on a World War II epic. This doesn't work; Luhrmann has tried to cram two movies together, but merely makes the latter half feel like an extremely long denoument. I can't say that I was completely bored...but I did get to a point where it became clear what was ultimately going to happen and I just wanted the characters to hurry the fuck up and get there. Also, when characters died or were separated and the like, I just didn't care...in fact, I can't really say that I cared about a single character in the movie. That's not to say that they're unlikeable...just that they were all so hastily sketched and haphazardly shoved together that I didn't really care who lived and who died.
This movie is a complete and utter failure. It's trying so desperately to be Gone With The Wind but it really only succeeds in becoming Pearl Harbor. Oh, and did I mention that 90% of the effects suck? There are some very impressive set pieces near the end with the bombings and all, but for the first three quarters of the movie, it looked like every other shot was an actor in front of a greenscreen. It just looks bad and entirely unprofessional. There was a scene in Moulin Rouge that was shot in front of a greenscreen (yes, many were, but one in particular) that I didn't realize was fake until I listened to the DVD commentary. Sure, there are plenty of artificial shots in Moulin Rouge, too, but it all contributed to the heightened theatricality of the movie. Australia wants you to take it seriously and swim in its gorgeous vistas, and you just can't when it looks like garbage. Also, Nicole Kidman is a boring actress at this point...outside of some of her past performances (To Die For, Moulin Rouge, maybe Margot at the Wedding), she seems to give the exact same performance every time. The Hours, Fur, The Golden Compass, Cold Mountain, Australia...just very mannered and dull. She's not wholly ineffective, but she's gotten to a point where she plays The Nicole Kidman Character in every movie...if that makes any sense.
I could sit here for a while and list everything that was terrible about Australia, but I won't. Bottom line: it sucks, don't see it, even if you love Baz Luhrmann. This movie should be like an intervention for him: get your head out of your ass and stop trying to impress us...just make something heartfelt and intimate next time. We know you were sad about not even being nominated for Best Director for Moulin Rouge, despite that film's Best Picture nomination (and I do agree with being bothered by that), but don't take it out on us by delivering this award-grubbing swill. Look at Martin Scorsese: he directed two bloated awards-bait movies in a row (Gangs of New York and The Aviator) that were both mediocre, but when he finally said "fuck it, I'll just make something really entertaining," he did The Departed and finally won the Academy Award. This was your Gangs of New York, Baz...please don't give us an Aviator before you learn your lesson.
That was a disappointing movie-going experience, to be sure. But I'm glad I saw Australia, as otherwise, I would have just felt like I had to see it eventually and then would have wasted my time when it came to video. Plus, one good thing that could come out of this might be that Fox will release Romeo + Juliet and/or Moulin Rouge on Blu-ray to coincide with the Australia home video release (maybe Disney will also throw its hat into the ring with a little high-def Strictly Ballroom action). Please, Fox?
I still intend to see Milk at some point this week or next weekend. It's gotten extremely good reviews and might be a bright spot in an otherwise vaguely disappointing holiday movie season. Seriously, this year's Best Picture race is going to be slim pickings. What is there? Wall-E will get Best Animated Film, while Australia, Body of Lies, W., Changeling and many other prestige pictures have failed to live up to their hype. What's left? The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has a serious shot...Milk, maybe...possibly Gran Torino (even though it looks dull)...I guess Seven Pounds might have a shot...and yes, then there's The Dark Knight. My Warner contact has a Blu-ray of Dark Knight stashed away for me, so I look forward to seeing it again soon...but as massively entertaining as it was, is it the Best Picture of the year? Hard to say...I can't help but hope it's not. But we'll see....
Ah, the airport blogging session...a new travel tradition. And as usually seems to be the case, I'm here at a semi-ungodly hour (woke up at 4:40, it's now 6:17) for my early flight back to Los Angeles. All in all, it was a lovely trip, albeit somewhat disjointed. I think the whole trip was sort of encapsulated in my Thanksgiving dinner experience: we arrived, amusement was had, appetizers were over far too soon, suddenly it was time for dinner, and then, before I knew it, it was time to go. It was kind of a whirlwind trip in a way...which might be because I didn't have much time to nap or just hang out (except Tuesday). It was all sort of a blur...but a nice blur.
As for Thanksgiving dinner itself, again, it was a disjointed affair. I felt like last year was more normally paced, in a way (we were at the same person's house with some of the same people): we arrived, appetizers happened gradually and time was killed while the turkey finished, I had, like, four plates of dinner, and then there was pie for as far as the eye could see, and it all lasted until late. This year, though, I felt like we were having dinner within an hour of arriving. Plus, as I thought there would be more time between appetizers and dinner, I kind of filled up on the appetizers, only to discover that I couldn't force myself to eat much more than a plate and a half of dinner...when one anticipates Thanksgiving for an entire year, this reality is somewhat heartbreaking.
After that, dessert was served, and about an hour later, we were gone. I think, all in all, it lasted about...five hours? That sounds like a long time, but during a social event like Thanksgiving, it tends to go by pretty quickly. Plus, I was kind of drunk. Sure, it seems tacky to attend a Thanksgiving dinner at someone else's home with one's family and get smashed on blueberry vodka, but in context, it made perfect sense. I'm also not an aggressive or embarrassing drunk; I keep it together. So there weren't any outbursts or table-flipping from me...I had just enough to make me talkative (and possibly amuse my sister). I've actually been at a Thanksgiving dinner wherein someone else came into someone's home, got violently plastered and started to humiliate themselves...it's not pretty and hardly something I'd want to emulate. But my mild inebriation was more charming than sad (so says I).
I wouldn't classify Thanksgiving as "disappointing," as it was fun and I did have a lot of good food...it just wasn't as evenly paced as the year before. Note for next year: don't fill up on metaphoric (or literal) bread when the main course has yet to be served. And then I just spent the day with my family yesterday, wherein we went to the one place you really want to avoid on the day after Thanksgiving: the mall. My sister had been whining for an iPod all week as her Christmas present, so my parents decided to keep her happy and buy her the thing already. Though in actuality, we got the iPod before we even went to the mall (at Circuit City), so the trip to the mall itself was mostly superfluous. I guess it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be (the mall crowds), but I was still happy to get the hell out of there (especially since I encountered two Blu-rays that were out before street date that I wanted to buy, but really couldn't spare the money on them at that time...instead, I'm waiting for my studio contacts to send them to me for free, which means stupid waiting...clearly, my sister and I have "whining about physical goods" in common).
After the mall, we were supposed to go back to the house, but instead, my dad took us on a detour to the cemetery, where we "visited" my paternal grandparents (with whom I was very, very close...they passed away in 2005 and 2007, respectively). I found that I had mixed emotions about this visit...clearly, my dad felt that visiting the graves brought him close to his parents. Although I hadn't anticipated any sort of reaction on my part, I did discover that I felt...odd about visiting the graves. I guess I don't see visiting the gravesite as the best way to be close to my grandparents...not to get too philosophical, but that's just their bodies. It was also somewhat unnerving...this was the first time I had seen the fully completed headstone with both names on it. I don't know...it was confusing. But the most important thing I felt I could do was to be there for my dad, so I was. And if nothing else, it did make me focus on thinking about my grandparents and how much I miss them.
Anyway, overall, it was a good trip (though we'll see how this trip home treats me), even though I did get exposed to my parents' horrible mix CD on the way to and from virtually every destination (Celine Dion, Meat Loaf, more Celine Dion, Linda Ronstadt, more Celine Dion). Imagine your parents playing songs like I Would Do Anything For Love and My Heart Will Go On (that's my generation's weepy anthem! Give it back!) and singing along. So...there's that. I can't say I'll miss that.
So it's Thanksgiving...the one rare holiday to which I won't say "Bah, humbug." I do love Thanksgiving, not for the pageantry (the parade bores me...except the one year I saw it in real life, but even then, it was mostly obscured by the crowds) or the historical traditions or the "being thankful for stuff" aspect...but primarily for the celebration of gorging one's self with food and alcohol (and to a lesser degree, being with family and/or friends). Actually, it's more a combination of those last two reasons, as it would be sad to eat a turkey all alone and it would be idiotic to just sit around with family and/or friends and not eat your weight in pie. But that's the beauty of Thanksgiving: it brings together the right amount of hedonism with the right amount of unity. God bless us, everyone.
My Thanksgiving is starting off in a pretty basic fashion, with my dad and stepmom proceeding to call everyone they can think of (I'm trying to stay away from the kitchen, as I don't want to get roped into saying hello to anyone at the moment...I haven't had any coffee yet and don't like getting put on the spot in general) and my sister slumbering away (she says she usually gets up around noon, but has been averaging 10:30 or so). I got up around 8 to the sounds of pots and pans being rustled in the kitchen...we're not actually have Thanksgiving dinner here, but are bringing various dishes to the hosting home.
Although nothing matches the sheer food intake of Thanksgiving itself, I have to say that I've been indulgent this week...sure, I've had my oatmeal for breakfast every morning, but after that, I've been dining out with my parents and friends. While it hasn't been crazy overload (no injecting grease into my veins heroin-style yet), it's definitely been heavier than normal...but fuck it, I'm on vacation and I'll be strict with myself when I get back to Los Angeles.
Tuesday turned out to be a decent, albeit quiet, day: I decided not to go to Universal Studios, so my sister and I got lunch, went to Blockbuster and hung out here at the house before meeting my dad downtown for dinner. It was a nice chance to spend some time with my sister and it was nice to just relax at the house instead of running around.
Yesterday, though, I went to Tampa and met up with my friend Lindsay. She seemed to be doing well and it was good to see her. Tampa appeared to be entirely unchanged, as expected. It was a quick visit, as Lindsay had to go to work at 2:30, but we got some good time together. After that, I drove on to Sarasota, where I met up with my friend Jennifer (and her roommate) and we hung out for a few hours. I actually steered us to Demetrios for dinner, which is a pizza place on US 41 that's been there possibly since the beginning of time and hasn't changed at all. I hadn't been there in at least a decade (probably more like 14 or 15 years), so driving into the parking lot and eating there was like stepping back into 1992. It was also interesting that the pizza tasted exactly like it did back then (greasy, slightly deep dish, very tasty) and the greeter was probably the same older guy as back in the day (he's probably seen the entirety of Sarasota walk through his door over the last few decades). Really, even if hanging out with my friend had been a disappointment, the visit to Demetrios made the trip totally worth it.
But the visit wasn't a disappointment, it was fun. Being equally sentimental about stuff, Jennifer and I actually drove to Pine View (our elementary/middle/high school) after dinner and walked around for an hour or so (with her poor roommate in tow...but he was nice about it). I had been to Pine View briefly in April during the day, but it was nice to actually go with someone else rather than just be all internal about it. Some things were different (the huge two-story building) some things were exactly the same (our senior class gift was a walkway to the student parking lot wherein we did handprints in the cement next to our names...my hand obviously still fit). All in all, it was nice to go and reminisce.
So that was a nice day, I think. And now I'm preparing myself for Food. I actually really want some coffee, but feel too lazy to drive over to Starbucks to see if they're open today. I guess I'll go in a bit, as the last thing I want is a headache tonight, but I'll wait a few minutes. I guess I need to make some calls of my own (mostly text messages, though...thank God for my generation's internet culture and lack of verbal communication), but anyone that I would actually call is on the west coast (basically my mom). I did get a message from Alexandra this morning (she must have called...at 7? Late last night after 12?)...she was calling to wish me a happy Thanksgiving and to say that she's auditioning for a school in San Francisco. This really shouldn't put me on edge (she was going to audition in California before she even met me, and it's San Francisco, not LA), and yet I felt slightly...on edge. But I'll gradually get over myself and remember to call and wish her luck, because the world doesn't revolve around me.
Now, to the hedonism!
As predicted, working from my vacation has been irritating at best. True, comparably, it's been a pretty mild day at the office, but it's still frustrating to check in every so often and find twenty e-mails, especially when at least ten of those e-mails are annoying. Don't take this as some ego trip wherein I sigh heavily and say, "Goodness, everything falls apart when I'm not there"...it's all humming along quite nicely, actually. Like I said, this would be a boring day if I were sitting at my desk...but when I'm thousands of miles away from that desk, every goofy miscommunication, every irrelevant question, every "I need this NOW" e-mail is more difficult to address due to the internet-accessible e-mail system and more eye-rollingly aggravating.
But it's partially my fault, I think...I doubt my boss is actively refreshing his inbox, waiting for the next query. He probably checks his e-mail once or twice a day and addresses what he can, whereas I've been logging on pretty often. Sadly, it's not really out of any abnormal dedication...I'm actually just kind of bored. As pleased as I am to be on vacation, I have to say that Orlando isn't a big hotspot for entertainment (well, outside of those two massive complexes dedicated to nothing but entertainment: Disney and Universal, with their little brother Sea World and distant cousin Busch Gardens...but I'm actually going to Universal tomorrow, and after growing up in this area [and working for Disney], I'm sad to say that the magic is gone). And while I'm happy to see my family, my dad and stepmom are at work for the next two days, leaving my sister and I to make our own fun (and since when do kids get the entirety of Thanksgiving week off from school? Not in my day!).
I don't mean to make it sound like I'm painfully bored, though...it's refreshing to be someplace other than my apartment and I have a basic outline for the next two days to keep entertained (with Thursday being filled with cooking and eating and Friday being some sort of vague family-togetherness day). So I think it's a decent balance between a healthy amount of boredom and being crazed, although it's tipping a little bit closer to boredom than I'm comfortable with. But my sister and I will be off to Islands of Adventure tomorrow (for a bit) and I've finally locked down time with Lindsay and Jennifer (both Wednesday), so it should be fine. Coming as a great surprise to precisely no one, Tina hasn't gotten back to me about getting together, so it looks like it'll be yet another three or four years until that happens (which is fine by me...as I've said before, if I met her for the first time today, I doubt we'd hit it off, even as friends...it was a different time for both of us).
It's also surprisingly cold here in Florida...like, I woke up this morning to find that I was freezing and didn't want to leave the bed. What the hell? I haven't even encountered a day like that in Los Angeles this year. But it may have something to do with the fact that my parents keep the house at about 67 degrees (!) and Florida's bizarre temperature fluctuations that used to drive me crazy when I lived here. I hated wearing warm clothes in the morning only to shed them by midday...it was hard to dress (which makes my three years or so of wearing a jacket to school every day a little more reasonable, right? ...Right?).
And overall, I don't think I could ever live in Florida again (permanently...when I'm rich, I wouldn't mind owning a little something on Casey Key for vacations). It's so...blah. Additionally, I don't think I could ever live permanently in a small town again. No, I'm hardly out every night in Los Angeles, soaking up the local flavor, but at least it's not provincial (except for that Proposition 8 thing...). Central Florida isn't quite the middle of rural God-fearing nowhere, but there are sections that come close to that. I mean, someone built a massive cross on their church property (not a standard one...this one may be larger than that cross that lights up in the Hollywood Hills) and some people come dangerously close to having southern accents. Those are slightly stereotypical (albeit accurate) signifiers, but nonetheless, Florida is as close to being The South without being The South (well, except the panhandle...that's just The South).
There are certain aspects of Florida that I do love, though: I genuinely feel that, if I absolutely had to grow up in this state, it could have been a lot worse than Sarasota. Sure, it's inherently Republican, racist and small-minded, but it sure does have some great beaches. Seriously, though, it's a nice town and isn't as backwards as some of its middle-of-the-state neighbors. And then there's Miami...sure, it's nowhere near the likes of New York, Chicago or even Los Angeles, but it's still a fun place with its own distinctive stamp and feel. I don't ever want to live there again (driving there may be even worse than driving in LA), but it's a great place to visit.
There are other reasons that I don't totally loathe Florida, but that's good for now. Funny thing, though: when people ask me where I'm from, I rarely say "Florida"...nine times out of ten, I say "New York" (meaning the state), indicating a) where I was born and b) where I directly came from prior to being in Los Angeles. If I feel like it's worth getting into with the person who asked, I'll sometimes add on "...and Florida. It's complicated." I'm not sure if it's because I'm embarrassed of Florida or if I'm just being evasive...
So...another major holiday, another blog post from an airport. Good times for everyone! This time, I'm en route to Orlando for Thanksgiving (and to see my family and some friends, blah, blah, blah...primarily, it's the turkey and stuffing). However, it seems as though I may possibly be getting out before the airports go crazy, as it took me a grand total of 12 minutes to get from the taxi through security (it took me longer to get my coffee from the Starbucks here than to get through security). It's possible that airports are just finally getting the hang of this whole "holiday travel" thing...or it could be that it's bright and early on a Sunday morning and it won't get super busy until Tuesday or so.
Oh, and as a side note, speaking of air travel: now that gas in my area is down to $2.12/gallon at some stations (amazing! I feel like it's 1998 again!), when will prices for air travel come down again? I thought the ridiculous inflation was due to rising fuel prices...but if I can fill up my car for less than $50, does that mean that I can find airfare from and to major cities for less than $500? Yeah, not so much. It reminds me of the New York City subways immediately after September 11th, when they raised the prices to $1.50 (or to $2.00...I can't remember...probably the latter) citing financial difficulty stemming from the disaster. I also recall them promising that it was a brief price hike and would come back down at some point. If I'm not mistaken, that point has yet to be reached....
But anyway, so far it's been a relatively painless process here at the airport (knock on wood)...of course, the plane that was supposed to depart ten minutes ago and give way to our arriving flight is still sitting at the gate, so.... But I was shocked to arrive at the airport this morning and find that, to check one's bag at the curb, it's now $15 for the first bag and $25 for the second! Outrageous! I mean, I had read that it was costing money to check bags curbside nowadays, but I thought it was, like, $5. What the hell? When is that practice going to cease? When gas prices hit $.10/gallon? Blah....
Luckily, I crammed all of my clothes into a smaller bag instead of my usual larger suitcase, so the curbside guy suggested that I just carry both my clothes bag and my laptop bag on the plane. While it would have been nice if this had occurred to me yesterday (I spent a lot of the day debating between trying to put everything in one carry-on or spilling into two bags...I hate checking luggage), it was still quite the lightning bolt of a revelation when he suggested it. It kind of reminded me of a few days ago at work when Jamie was using her computer to highlight a bunch of text in some hundred-page document and felt like she was going to cry when her co-worker said she needed a physical highlighted copy...I suggested the seemingly-obvious solution of just printing her electronic work in color and she was similiarly enlightened. It's the little things, really.
So here I am with both of my bags...I'm slightly anxious because I'm boarding with Group 6, so I can only hope that there's room left in the overhead compartments when I get on the plane, but worst comes to worst, I'll gate check the thing. And then...five hours of flying. Whoopie. This is one of the reasons why living on the west coast while the majority of your friends and family live on the east coast sucks: it's horrible to travel cross-country. Again, it could be a lot worse (my friends and family could live in Russia...or not exist in the first place), but it's still a drag.
Outside of my travel, though, there's not much else that's going on. My landlords sprung into action and had my sink fixed during the day on Friday...it seems to be fine now (again, knock on wood). I've mostly let work roll off my shoulders for the time being. As hypothesized, by Saturday afternoon, I was mostly distanced from work (though I still don't yet feel like I'm on vacation...probably because travel sucks)...but come tomorrow morning when I have to pay a degree of attention to my work e-mails (my boss, co-worker and I are all out of the office this week, so we promised our big boss that we would at least check in so that someone is steering the Blu-ray boat), it'll all come flooding back, I'm sure. I'm slightly anxious about that, too, as there's only so much I can do from the internet-accessible e-mail.
Perhaps this is why I'm still stressed out and not feeling terribly vacation-y yet...hopefully when I get to Florida and see my family and bite into that first Publix sub, I'll feel better (order to be determined). As for friends, it's a surprisingly sparse group for such a family-oriented holiday. The only person I've really been able to coordinate with, time-wise, is Jennifer, a friend from middle/high school (we're getting dinner Monday or Wednesday night)...I'm still waiting to hear back from Lindsay (another friend from elementary/middle/high school) on times that she's free, and filed under "Yeah, Probably Not Going To Happen" is Tina (first girlfriend). Like I said, we talked a few weeks ago on Facebook and offhandedly determined that we would both be in Florida for the holiday and that getting together could be accomplished. Since then, I wrote her a quick message, with no response...shocking.
But regardless, it'll be good to see Jennifer and Lindsay, who live in Sarasota and Tampa, respectively. To that end, I feel generally indifferent about visiting Tampa, and I don't plan on spending that much time in Sarasota. I had considered calling Alexandra to see if she would want to get together (I wasn't lying to her when we last spoke...I really would be interested in getting together if we're both in Sarasota at some point to hang out), but a) I remember her mentioning that she won't be in Sarasota for Thanksgiving, and b) I'm just not in the mood to make the effort this time. That is, I'm interested in catching up with her, but I'm not interested in being raked over the coals about anything that happened between us.
Anyway...the last plane departed over twenty minutes ago and our plane has since arrived. They've already let the elderly passengers board (which, on a flight bound for Orlando, takes a while...zing!), so it's almost time for general boarding. It's surprisingly cloudy and misty in Los Angeles this morning, so it should be one of those enjoyable ascents where the dark clouds slowly peel away to reveal the morning sun above a sea of white, puffy clouds. That should be nice.
It's about 2 in the morning right now, and after 4 and a half hours or so of sleep, I think I'm up for the day. Or maybe not...maybe after I get some of this out of my system, cathartic-style, I'll sigh heavily and collapse against my pillows until 7 AM. I hope so...I know I'm tired, but I just can't get back to sleep. I wasn't even having a nightmare...it was more just like all these elements came together and sat on my brain until I woke up, dully hoping against hope that it was at least 5 or 6 in the morning so I wouldn't be in the situation I am now.
Primarily, it's all about work...which is funny, because I'm actually on vacation for a week as of 6 PM yesterday. Additionally, my boss and I were even patting ourselves on the back for all of the loose ends we tied up before the end of the day and I went to sleep last night with the knowledge that, for the most part, things are Handled. Yet here I am, woken up by irrational fears and random worries (also, the Kung Fu Panda theme song has been soundtracking my concern...Paramount sent me a copy on Blu-ray this week and I've been watching it...still, kind of random). In fact, now that I've actually dedicated myself to turning on my computer and blogging, I can't quite remember the specifics of my worries. Well, there are a few things I can recall, but they're so silly and not worth being upset about.
One day, I'd love to just write a big, long, detailed discussion about my job and its specifics, using real names and titles and everything (like how a certain movie that's related to another certain movie made my life hell yesterday)...but obviously, in this day and age, I'm absolutely not taking that risk. I don't need another reason to wake up in the middle of the night and worry. I always think it's so cool when bloggers write honestly about their interesting jobs (adult video store clerk, waiter at a high class restaurant, stripper, Hollywood interns, etc.) and hide behind careful anonymity, but that boat sailed long ago for me...this blog is hardly anonymous (and my job, interesting though it may be, doesn't compete with stripping). Still, like I said, it would be cathartic...oh well.
For now, though, I'll say that I can't decide whether I worry about my job in a healthy way or an unhealthy way. Clearly, I want to do a good job and, you know, not get fired (particularly in this wintry economic climate), but on the other hand, there's no reason for me to be up in the middle of the night, especially when I should be celebrating my week-long exodus from the office. I think it's all just "coming down," though...I highly doubt that, come Sunday or Monday, I'll be stressing out the way I am now. It happens every weekend: I start off thinking about everything from the week on Friday, but by Saturday afternoon, I'm usually caught up in weekend stuff and "real life." But then, I usually get a decent night's sleep, too...sometimes I wake up in the night, but fall back to sleep after a half hour or so. This time seems more like "well, I'm up...time for more Kung Fu Panda."
That could be due to the fact that I'm also getting ready for my Thanksgiving trip to Florida...so in addition to any leftover work nonsense rattling around in my head, I'm also thinking about everything I have to do before I go. Yeah, that's probably the difference. Of course, I can't explain to my brain that it will be difficult to accomplish anything a) on four and a half hours of sleep and b) at 2:30 in the morning.
But also, I came home Thursday night to find my kitchen sink filled with water (both sides), likely as a result of my upstairs neighbor's negligence. Given everything else that was going on and what with my upcoming trip, this has stressed me out more than it usually would have...happily, unlike at my old apartment, the people here were very helpful about fixing it and even apologetic(!). So it's fixed and all...but they used my measuring bowl and pot that I use most often to scoop the dirty water out. Ew...and now I have to buy a new measuring bowl and pot (I would have just cleaned them, but they left them dirty on the counter for an untold number of hours...). So that kind of sucked, but it's a small price to pay to get that issue fixed.
I know I say this all the time, but I really need another component to my life...specifically a personal life. It's not even a counterpoint to this specific job...I somehow think that, when I'm making movies, I'll probably have ten times the number of sleepless nights that I do now. But it would be nice to have more than just "the job" (regardless of what it is). Sure, I would feel bad about being sleepless next to someone who's sleeping peacefully, but that's hardly a reason to keep someone from filling that position. I know this doesn't break my trend of having virtually every post lead back to the fact that I'm lonely, but so be it...it would be nice to have another dimension to my life.
And to keep with the overall work theme of this post, I'll even say that having a romantic partner might actually help keep these work-related fears at bay. I remember a time in college, early on in my first semester of Freshman year, when I was stressed out about classes and such, I was waiting for a class to start and thinking about all of the papers I had to write, all of the projects I had to do, all of the worries I had. At the time, I was still with my first girlfriend (who lived in Florida while I was in New York at that time), and as I was running through all the school-related things that worried me, I suddenly had this image of being with that girlfriend. We were lying in bed (fully clothed, this was a chaste image) and I was telling her why I was worried. But suddenly, with that image in mind, my worries didn't matter as much. They didn't go away or anything, but it just felt like there was something other than school that mattered. It was soon thereafter that things went sour between us, but the point still stands: there needs to be something other than work in my life...as a balance, not a replacement. "Work" (and I mean that as the overall idea of Work, not necessarily my specific current job...this includes my ultimate career goal) is so important to me and always has been, but I think I'm slowly learning that I can't subsist on "Work" alone like I always thought I could.
Anyway...I thought this would be more cathartic, but now I feel like I have more to think about (nothing earth-shattering, but my mind is awake and restless with these semi-realizations). Ironically, given my recent luck with women, I may have to keep pushing through on that "Work" side of things to finally get to the rich and famous part...it will be a lot easier to date when I can say, "Oh, I'm a movie director, here's my money." That's harsh, yes, but nonetheless, it will at least be easier to meet women if nothing else. But I digress (sort of)...and Kung Fu Panda awaits.
I just have absolutely no interest in seeing Twilight. I can usually muster an opinion on a movie one way or the other (Bolt = could be good, but I'm definitely tired of CGI talking animal movies; Australia = looks dull and overwrought, but I'll see it anyway; Star Trek = definitely want to see it, but I still don't trust JJ Abrams or the cast or the story or the look or...), but honestly, Twilight just leaves me completely cold...and that was before I even really knew the story. So it's all a testament to chaste love and longing glances? I don't need hardcore pornography in my love stories, but pardon me as I vomit loudly. Oh wait, I guess that's an opinion....
What Twilight is actually a testament to is the baffling and eye-rolling nature of girls (and, apparently, all women, including YOUR OWN MOTHER). Deep down, girls really long for guys who are mysterious yet accessible...dangerous yet cuddly...undead yet lives life to the fullest...impossible to tame yet fiercely loyal...sexy but without sex. In other words, girls are stupid.
I don't mean to criticize those of you who may have enjoyed Twilight and its sequels...well, outside of that above criticism. Different people like different things, obviously. I don't understand how someone can turn their nose up at Harry Potter and I'll get loud when defending certain movies. But really, I just don't understand the huge tidal wave of lady-juice that is secreted over Twilight...or vampires themselves, for that matter. It's been a few years so my memory may be fuzzy on this issue, but I seem to recall my first girlfriend Tina being entranced by vampires, as well (though she also loved Rocky Horror and the Renaissance Fair, so...). And according to every mall in America (ie: Hot Topic), vampires aren't just for Sandman-reading drama nerds anymore. Of course, I don't remember this sort of nationwide love affair with vampires in 1992 when Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula came to theaters...in fact, I specifically recall that my friend Chris's mom hated that movie (I don't know her stance on Twilight, book or film).
But obviously, girls' minds are not for figuring out. They're like Rubik's Cubes: most people never figure them out, and those that do get movies made about them (see: Pursuit of Happyness). But unlike Rubik's Cubes, men continue to make the attempt to figure women out and haven't metaphorically left them in their parents' basements to find years later (unless they've literally done that, which is uncool). Bottom line: I won't be seeing Twilight this weekend, I have no desire to insert it into my Netflix queue, and I won't go to the grave cursing my lack of exposure to Twilight. My time is far too precious to be wasted on such drivel.
Speaking of which, I saw Role Models and Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa this past weekend. An interesting double feature, to be sure, but at least it helped me forget my problems for a few hours. And really, isn't that what entertainment is all about? (This cynicism was brought to you by Modern Filmmaking.)
Anyway, Role Models was cute enough. Much like Pineapple Express, it actually wasn't as funny as it was just generally entertaining. That is to say, Role Models isn't hysterical...it's funny, sure, but the real selling point is the decent story and semi-likeable characters. That's not to say that it's a searing character study or an engrossing story...it's just somewhat refreshing to see an R-rated comedy that has actual characters and an actual story. The merits of the characters and story are debatable, but at least they didn't treat the whole thing like a big, stupid joke. I guess I would put it on par with Zack and Miri Make A Porno: both are equally sweet and sour with mild laughs, but the overall experience is generally pleasing. I'm not sure if I would suggest seeing it in theaters (unless you love Paul Rudd...or unless you're the one person who loves Seann William Scott [who's actually really decent in this movie]), but it would make for a cute rental.
As for Madagascar 2...it was painless. I would equate my feelings about Madagascar 2 to those I felt about Baby Mama: you've seen it a million times and it's generally harmless. But unlike with Baby Mama, a movie that tipped over on to the wrong side of that feeling (why bother making that movie if it's so painfully bland and tired?), I felt that Madagascar 2 was cute enough that it successfully straddled the line between "okay" and "what the fuck was the point of making this movie?". That doesn't mean it's a good movie or worth seeing, even on video...it just means that it's a painless experience if you like CGI talking animal movies (it's certainly not as bad as that wretched piece of cow flop known as Shark Tale).
I also brought home Open Season on Blu-ray from my "Blu-ray Library" here at work (I've kept a copy of everything we've released to date...it's actually for department-wide use, but people seem to have forgotten it's here and I don't feel like reminding them). This may have been one CGI talking animal movie too many for me to handle...I kind of hated it. Actually, everything around the two main characters was okay...I just really dislike Martin Lawrence (outside of Bad Boys) and Ashton Kutcher (outside of...no, I just dislike him altogether). Their voice work grated on me and made the rest of the movie exceedingly unpleasant. And really, given that the story itself was trite and paper-thin and the supporting characters were merely satisfactory, it became a dull and painful 87 minutes or so.
Beyond movies, though, I don't have much to say at the moment. Even though it only took place a week ago, I feel like that date (and subsequent rejection) is far in the past...maybe that's because I'm focused on getting through this week to my much-needed vacation. I've already started salivating over the approach of Thanksgiving next week...it's the one day where I really let loose and eat everything I want. Of course, as I may have mentioned last year, there was a bit of a damper put on my festivities when some friends of my parents' friends commented on my food intake: "I can't believe you stay so thin while eating so much." A backhanded compliment, to be sure, but I hate it when people draw attention to how much I'm eating (though they can comment on how little I'm eating to their heart's content...that makes me feel good). It's my one day of gorging...let me have this one day!!!!!
But they won't be there this year, so I'll eat to my heart's content (or discontent, as I'm sure it won't like having to deal with the massive influx of fatty foods). However, it appears that my sister may have mono...she's apparently been pretty sick this week. While I obviously have sympathy for her, perhaps this will teach her to be cautious when swapping spit (though admittedly, it is kind of a mood-killer to ask if your partner has mono). Or perhaps it will drive her further into the arms of some distant yet loving vampire, as they can never get sick...and never truly feel....
This past week seems to have centered around two key elements: my Wednesday night date and Quantum of Solace. Now with the week at an end, it seems like an appropriate time to tie up any loose ends before (hopefully) moving on.
First, Quantum of Solace: the more I've thought about it and the further I get from the viewing experience, the less I like the movie. That's not say that it's been a drastic drop-off...I would just revise my "B-" to a "C." It's definitely a "minor Bond entry," as so many reviewers have said, and will likely be remembered more for what it got wrong than what it got right. Still, overall, I do agree that it was at least entertaining and worth seeing, and I absolutely grant that it may appreciate with repeated viewings. Plus, I still really like Daniel Craig as James Bond and I feel that this movie is a necessary partner to the far-superior Casino Royale. In other words, if you loved Casino Royale, then for better or worse, Quantum of Solace is that film's sequel and it finishes plot points and character arcs that were started previously. In a weird way, the best part of Quantum of Solace is that it makes Casino Royale even better.
But as a standalone film, it's weak sauce...not bad, but hardly great. However, I really do feel that a second viewing is in order, divorced from expectations. That's not to say that it will happen in theaters, but I'll likely revisit it on Blu-ray. It's certainly nice to look at, but all in all, it's not really what I was hoping for.
And with that appropriate-yet-labored transition, I turn to my date, in what I hope will be the final summation. Like I said yesterday, she did end up writing me back, and I finally read the e-mail last night. On the positive side, it's nice to know that I'm not crazy and that I can still accurately read a situation and/or a person's reactions...but on the negative side, while I was basically right about the content of her e-mail (the "polite kiss-off"), it was a little more blunt than I was expecting. Granted, it could have been worse, but her assertion that she's "really only looking for friendship" kind of stung...she could have been more vague.
To be honest, I actually only skimmed the e-mail and hadn't intended to read it when I did (stupid work e-mail system...I was reading another e-mail and accidentally skipped to hers). I also haven't yet gone back to really read her response, but I saw the main points (thanks for dinner, looking for friendship, etc.). It wasn't surprising or anything, but it still hurt to know that, in actual fact, the date had been bad and it wasn't just my imagination.
So that was last night. Tonight, though...I feel better. I still have a deep worry about my future prospects now that I see a) how hard it is to get a date at all, and b) how bad I am at first dates, but in regards to this specific situation...eh. I know this sounds like backpedaling, but honestly, as I was sitting there at dinner with her, I remember thinking to myself: "I'm really not connecting with this girl." That could have been in response to my failure to find my footing, as I mentioned previously, or just the fact that...well, that we just weren't really connecting, but in any event, the point is that it's not a huge loss. Sure, if she had written back and said, "Yeah, it was fun, let's do it again soon," I totally would have tried again...but based solely on Wednesday night, I can't say that I'm too broken up about her specifically.
But I find that I'm upset about peripheral things, like my aforementioned general dating worries going forward or what this girl will say to Jamie and her boyfriend about me. I'd love to be able to write this girl back and say, "Okay, I understand that we didn't connect, but could you complete this exit survey to give me feedback for future use? Also, don't forget, you signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement, so you can't tell anyone how bad I am at small talk or choosing wines. Thanks." I don't know...it just sucks and it hurts to be rejected. But I suppose the wheel has to come around, or something...just as I rejected Krystal, Alexandra and the Belgian girl, and just as Tina, Jamie and so many others have rejected me, I guess I'll reject and be rejected again in the future. Such is the way of dating, I suppose. It just sucks.
And I'll reiterate that I don't think I ever had a real chance with this girl...it really seemed like she was indifferent to the date from the very start of the evening. Frankly, while I wasn't at my best, I feel like I got out of there with minor scrapes and bruises compared to what it could have been. It's still interesting to note, though, that this girl really did seem to meet all of my criteria...except the most important criteria of all: basic interest in getting to know me.
So...that's what a real date is like, huh? Sucks...and it sucks that I'm going to have to do it again. I don't know when and I don't know how, but eventually, I'll get another date. And when I do, I'm going to blow the fucking doors off that date and rock her world...and maybe, just maybe, I'll get more than just a handshake at the end of the night. That's right...I'm talking about a hug. Reach for the stars.
I'll just talk briefly about Quantum of Solace...I think I've discussed my personal life enough for one week (and last night's post was about as accurate as it gets right now). We had our employee screening this morning and it was nice to actually be genuinely excited about one of our movies (the last one may have been...Step Brothers? Spider-Man 3?), even though the early reviews suggested a mid-level Bond adventure as opposed to the top-shelf adventure of Casino Royale or Goldeneye (so kill me, I'm partial to Goldeneye over Goldfinger, or some other such Connery/Moore Bond film).
All in all, Quantum of Solace is better than average, but yeah, it's no Casino Royale. I'd say it's on par with...The Living Daylights? And I don't mean that in a bad way, as I actually like The Living Daylights, but absolutely recognize its flaws. For background (as one always has to establish one's Bond preferences before discussing the films), it seems as though I really enjoy one film from each Bond actor...not by design, but by coincidence. I greatly enjoy From Russia With Love, but don't care for any of the other Connery films. I actually feel that Lazenby's On Her Majesty's Secret Service is a great Bond film with fun action that's saddled with too much plot and a mediocre lead actor...but I still really like the movie overall. The Spy Who Loved Me is the best of the Moore films...it's a great movie amidst some true cinematic clunkers from that era (God, I hate Live and Let Die). As previously mentioned, I have a soft spot for Dalton's The Living Daylights and tend to agree that his take on the character would have been more popular twenty years later (but License to Kill is just terrible). And finally, I love Goldeneye, even though the rest of the Brosnan films ranged from "tolerable" (Tomorrow Never Dies) to "one of the worst movies ever" (Die Another Day).
So since I've already determined that Daniel Craig's Casino Royale is probably my favorite Bond film yet, does that mean that I'm predisposed to dislike Quantum of Solace? No...in fact, this may be the movie that ends my "one film per Bond actor" streak (though admittedly, I did enjoy Moonraker and A View To A Kill just a little bit, so that's almost three for Moore). I liked Quantum of Solace. Was it a great cinematic achievement? Absolutely not. There are so many issues with this movie that keep it from being anywhere near "great," but it is sort of fun.
As I've bitched about for months now, Marc Forster (Monster's Ball, Finding Neverland, Stranger Than Fiction) directed this movie, and now that I've seen it, I absolutely and wholeheartedly maintain that he was the wrong director for this film. And ha! He did use stupid graphic overlays in this movie, just like he did in Stranger Than Fiction...it's such a cheesy, stupid, lame, tacky choice. What is this, fucking Alias? This is James fucking Bond...give us wide establishing shots, use dialogue to let us know where we are, don't assert your alleged "cleverness" on this movie by integrating crappy text. And you know what? To that end, don't go to fourteen million different locations in a 1 hour 45 minute movie...I love the fact that Bond films shoot on location and travel the world, but keep it coherent. Bond doesn't need to travel to every goddamn continent in every movie.
But text overlays aside, my biggest problems with the movie were probably a) the pacing and b) how the action was shot. The movie attempts to "never stop for a breath" with its pacing, but we spend so little time with the characters and situations that it all becomes a blur after a while. This is a movie driven by plot, not character (despite Bond's somewhat effective character arc, which was really started in Casino Royale), so we get two and a half hours worth of events crammed into an hour and three quarters (not sure why...Casino Royale was over 2 hours and 20 minutes and felt like a real story). The movie is just too fast...by the time we finally get to spend a little time with the characters, the movie is more than halfway done.
And speaking of things that are too fast, the way they shot the action in this movie is terrible. Yes, it's occassionally thrilling (they do have some really great shots and choreography), but as with so many action movies these days, it's chopped up in an editing blender and you can't tell what's going on or who's crashing into whom (and after a while, you stop caring and just wait patiently for the action to end so you can see who's left standing). It's difficult to know who to blame for this...but at the end of the day, I have to believe that Forster, not the 2nd unit director or even the editors, is responsible, as he maps out the storyboards for the action sequences and guides the editors. And again, some of the action is really goddamn cool...the opening car chase would have been astonishing if we could have stepped back and seen some real choreography. But ultimately, it looks like they were cutting a trailer and not a movie.
Seriously, where did all of the real action directors go? If only James Cameron would stop exploring the ocean or making lame 3-D sci-fi and get back to making awesome fucking action epics (Terminator 2, Aliens, True Lies). You know who's actually a great action director but doesn't get enough credit? Martin Campbell...and that's not just because he did Casino Royale. The two recent Zorro movies (which he directed) are excellent examples of showcasing stunts and action in a coherent and enjoyable way, while Goldeneye is, again, awesome. I don't care what John McTiernan did to get jail time, but bust him out and give him a new action movie (obviously Die Hard is a paragon of action filmmaking, but Hunt For Red October and Die Hard With A Vengeance are no slouches, either).
Anyway...ultimately, while the action is spotty and the story is rushed and the characterizations are dulled, it's still an entertaining movie. I guess it says something about the finished product, seeing as how it (mostly) overcomes those detriments. While I maintain that it's similar to Living Daylights in terms of quality, it also feels like a near-opposite version of On Her Majesty's Secret Service: too short with some cool (but not amazing) action. Daniel Craig is still a great Bond, and the other actors acquit themselves nicely. I guess this movie was sort of a necessary evil: a transition from the broken, wounded character from Casino Royale to the slick, efficient Bond that we know and love. Actually, I thought the character arc was great...there just should have been more of it. All in all...a "B," I think. Maybe "B-".
I might go see Role Models this weekend...I've heard surprisingly positive things about it and I don't have much else to do. But for now, I'm limping to the weekend...only three hours or so left. I think I'll go get some Starbucks to power through the remainder of the day. And as a quick note: after I posted last night, I did write a quick e-mail to that girl to say I had a good time and tested the waters for a future occasion. It appears that one of my cynical options didn't come to fruition, as she wrote back today around noon...but I haven't opened it. My guess: since she did write back, it'll probably be a polite "kiss-off" as opposed to a scathing rejection. I don't know when I'll open it, though...maybe tonight.
This might possibly end up being my shortest post ever (I'm really tired), but I just want say something: I don't want to be unhappy. I don't actively try to make myself unhappy or seek out pity. But after a long while of being on the losing end of a lot of things in one's personal life, unhappiness is gradually forced upon you. I'd love to be a happier person who believes in such sentiments as "Hey, what a great experience that was!" or "I'm always glad to just meet new people!" I think it's entirely inaccurate to be painted as someone who revels in unhappiness and actively seeks it out...I don't look at the cynical side of things for fun. I'm cynical and pessimistic because that's how things have been, personally speaking.
If one more person tells me that last night was a good experience or that I'm "such a great guy," I might fucking scream. If I'm such a wonderful guy, why can't I even get anyone to look at my ridiculous JDate profile? If last night was such a great experience to have, why do I feel like dirt? And now I'm going to write to this girl again, thank her for last night, and "offhandedly" mention that I'd love to do something in the future when things aren't so hectic. It's not being cynical to believe that this will earn me a blunt "no thanks," some sort of half-hearted "yeah, let's think about some undetermined point far in the future" kiss-off response, or absolute silence. And I'll absorb that and it will make me unhappy. So why send the e-mail at all? Because in addition to being cynical, I'm also saddled with idiotic hope in every situation. I think that hope gets me into trouble more often than my pessimism.
And even when I'm down, life just sees fit to kick me square in the stomach. I had lunch with Jamie today and we talked about my evening. Initially, she felt that it was a successful evening overall, until I told her about the end of the date when I got a friendly handshake before the girl drove away. Did I forget to mention that part earlier? Perhaps because it was the humiliating cherry on top of the failure. This fact elicited an understanding "oh" from Jamie...she didn't disagree with me after that.
But the part that was really the shoe-to-the-gut was when Jamie was explaining how persistence is the key to dating and how I need to get back out there and try again. After all, she rejected her current boyfriend's romantic requests five times before giving in. BOOM...right in the fucking stomach. Silly me, forgetting about persistence...after telling Jamie how I felt about her over and over again for a year and a half. Or wait, apparently it's persistence plus "mysterious other ingredient that doesn't make any sense whatsoever" that drew Jamie to her boyfriend instead of me. But it's okay, because now I get to be the BFF, which is really my ideal role, anyway. Just ask all the girls I've had crushes on throughout the last twelve years or so.
That's all.
