1 post tagged “long distance”

Do you think real love can last throughout any distance, or will long distance end most relationships? 
Submitted by Miss Joy.

I think I may have already made my thoughts on this topic pretty clear over the course of this blog's existence, but since I feel like writing something, anything, I might as well answer this Question of the Day. Or maybe I'm only thinking that I've written about this topic in my blog when it was really just in private conversations with friends. Either way, I do have some strong opinions about this subject.

Bottom line, I think a long distance relationship is one of the most difficult things that a couple can endure (along with serious illness, cheating and perhaps getting married too early and discovering that one still goes through a lot of changes during one's twenties...the latter is primarily in reference to my long-divorced parents). Out of the two serious relationships I've had, both involved a degree of being separated, and both times, it didn't end well. Sure, there were plenty of other problems in both of those involvements, but the long distance aspect served to amplify and distort any and all problems.

The thing is, I believe that a long distance relationship can work...if both people go into it being one hundred percent honest about their intentions and are actually fully dedicated to making that relationship work. If there's even a smidgen of doubt or a solitary shrug of indifference, it's over. I know I've basically made true love sound like training for a sport, but it does take endurance, strength (of character), dedication and an unwavering desire to "win" to make it work. I'm sure that can be said about any relationship, really, but doing it all from a distance is like taming a lion on a tightrope over a floor of spikes. Sure, you could just knock the lion onto the spikes, but then you still have to get down off the tightrope...and that thing is really long...and it's windy. Besides, someone else owns the lion, so you really shouldn't just kill it. But I digress.

I don't really feel like getting into the nuts and bolts of why both of my prior long distance entanglements didn't work (though I've basically given a primer on what not to do above, so you can extrapolate, if you really want), but needless to say, I will never get into another long distance relationship again (if I can help it). Of course, what does make me sad is that, in reality, it's been about nine years since I've been in a relationship that wasn't long distance...I've really had very little experience actually dating someone on a normal, regular basis and not coordinating it around visits and phone calls. But again...I digress...sort of....

This is probably becoming a little maudlin, so let's switch topics to...um...I don't know. I guess it's a good thing, but with CES being over and with my out-of-town trips at an end (for now) and with my personal life returning to its standard flatline state of being, I feel somewhat uninspired, writing-wise. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually a boring person...I mean, beyond remarking on events and discussing other people, am I really that interesting? But then, doesn't everyone remark on events and discuss other people? It's not like I'm incapable of discussing a wide variety of topics. But still, I sometimes fear that I don't have much to say outside of reacting to external events...even though I know that's not really true. I do tend to be somewhat quiet when I'm around people who make me nervous in one way or another, and here at work, that tends to happen more often than not...and indeed, I am, by nature, a somewhat internal person. What makes someone an interesting person, anyway? Is it natural charisma? Humor? Kindness? Being a good storyteller? Cruelty? Violence?

I suppose that question has been one of the main reasons why I've resisted having a blog for so long...who really cares about my day to day musings? It'll be one thing when I've made my movie(s) and am rich and famous...even if I'm not interesting, who cares? People love reading the day to day musings of famous people. I could talk about the grout in my bathroom and I'd get at least a few hits and a comment or two (not because of me personally, but because of the fame). I'm not above it, either...if Tim Burton had a blog where he wrote a fourteen part series on how he gets his hair just right every day, I'd read it.

Though that also brings up a good question: when I become famous, is it better to go the Kevin Smith "talk to your fans all the time in every conceivable way" route or the Terrence Malick "become a renowned recluse who is spoken about in hushed whispers" direction? I feel like I'd try and strike a balance: I wouldn't want to be quite as overexposed as Kevin Smith, but I also don't think I'd necessarily want to drop off the face of the Earth for twenty years. I kind of like what Steven Soderbergh does: he participates in commentaries for films that he likes (The Third Man, The Graduate) but he's not super-accessible.

What's this? My cart won't move...yet the horse is attached. Oh, I see! The cart is in front of the horse! How silly of me. It should really be the other way around, I think...yes, yes, that's right.

Anyway, I should probably start doing things here at work...maybe if I do that instead of blogging, I'll actually get out on time tonight. Crazy!